kokkai

Typo Errir Day!
Thursday, April 28

i, the lone idioot who writes for kok.blogspit.com, declares today, April 29th, to be Typo Error Day! say ysy!

i'm sick of using the bloody ineffective spellchecker already. it always highlights my name 'Ng Kok Kai' as an error and corrects it to 'Nag Koch Kay', and so i am revolting against the spellchecker and encouragin people to make more typo errors in whatever they type on this momentous day! today is the day you can make all those typo erros you have alwyas dreamt about making! dsisble the stupid spell checker today! TO HELL WITH SPELLCHECKERS! type out tuns of erroneoues reports tpday!

To properly celebrate Typo Error Day, type out 'the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog1' in the comments. however, you are not to look at your keyboard while typing, you are not to backspace or change anything before you submit, you are to touch type, so if youre good at touch typung you probalby wont make any errors and should be celebrating some other stupid day like Secretaries' Day instead. if you managed to make an error while typing yoi have successfully celebraate Typo Error Day!

try it! and no cheatung! happy Type Error Day!

1i had to look at the keyboard tp type that out corectly, but you are NOT TO!

voyeurism.
Tuesday, April 26

recently somebody in Republic Polytechnic (RP) decided we had too much money and thought it was vital that we install some cameras that everybody and voyeurs could view from. if you go to the RP page for students (http://www.myrp.edu.sg), you will notice that there is this 'View Cam' section on the right where they list down some of the areas in RP that we can spy on when we have too much free time. This camera apparently runs for 24hrs so if you want to help the security guards Mary, Dominic, and that short Chinese lady who wears her pants very high up ensure RP is crime free at 3 in the morning you can!

There are obviously some practical uses for these cameras too. If you notice, there is a camera that points towards the football court, and you can use that camera to look when the netball or volleyball girls are having their training! How useful! or you can just use it to view some live football. anyway, the volleyball girls have trainings on Tuesday and Thursday at 5pm, so from now on every Tuesday and Thursday at 5pm the RP server will be down because lots of boys are viewing the football court camera.



see! this is kinda dark though because i looked at the camera at a rather late hour - but imagine what you could see if it was brighter! guys say yay! so fun! now you can see if the canteen is crowded without going down! now you can see if any girl accidentally exposed herself on camera! now you can see if anybody ever goes to the tennis courts! say yay again!

if you are excited at the prospect of being a voyeur and want to view more locations click here, and choose from the various locations under View Cam on the right.

a boring, safe post, which is slightly better then the previous one which was hideous and resembled a cabaret act
Monday, April 25

i have lots of pictures on my laptop, some of people, a lot of myself, ONLY A FEW of scantily clad girls, some work, some posters and some miscellaneous rubbish. today in this post i will put up more pictures! because they're taking up space and nobody will see them anyway if I leave them in the laptop. and i have decided that the theme for this impromptu photo-sharing session will be 'solitude'. say yay! or schadenfreude! or whatever you like saying.



here's an old lady sleeping beside me on the bus. lovely.



here's an abandoned and lonely thing-that-aunties-use-to-stuff-their-vegetables-and-fish (what the hell are these called)



here's some graffiti from a heartbroken person on the back of a seat. it reads 'Will it hurt 2 noe tt itz tym u shood go? Foreva.' and there's also a 'Yes.' scrawled in correction fluid below



here's a lone surviving plant among tons of dead leaves that i found in the yard of my grandmother's mansion.



and here's an alley that only the stray cats who visit my grandmother for scraps of food frequent, and which i never dared to venture through as a kid because I was scared that there was some monster hiding in the alley that would eat me up.

some title here
Sunday, April 24

i really should be putting up something new now, and i don't have anything, so here's a picture of me pretending to punch my classmate.



Dr. Kok: I AM THE SINISTER AND EVIL DR. KOK, AND I WILL KILL YOU WITH ONE OF MY DEATH PUNCHES BECAUSE YOU ATE ONE OF MY FRENCH FRIES!!!!!

I-am-too-fast-for-the-camera Man: No you cannot Dr Kok, I am too fast for you! See! your punches have all missed me! I will eat another one of your fries and even drink your lemon tea!

Dr. Kok: ARGH!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

I-am-too-fast-for-the-camera Man: some kind of villian you are! you punch too slow, you can't even protect your french fries, and you don't even have proper hair! look at the back of your hair! why is it so oddly shaped?!

Dr. Kok: dunno. must be the lousy Canon camera. i tell you ah, Canon products lousy one leh, that time i wanted to print out this 'Dr Kok was here' poster to paste around after I rob banks, THEN PRINTER JAM LEH! give what stupid driver error. this is the last time i use Canon products.

I-am-too-fast-for-the-camera Man: yar lar! Canon's lousy. can't even take a picture of me properly - this picture makes me look so ugly. a Nikon camera's shutter speed is fast enough to capture my face! and Canon still has the cheek to put out advertisements with the tagline 'delighting you always' !^$%^!@$&^@*?!

Dr. Kok: !^$%^!@$&^@*?!

I-am-too-fast-for-the-camera Man: why are you copying me in saying the same bunch of characters. no originality you. say your own bunch of characters lar.

Dr. Kok: sorry. ^@&*))*!^&*@&!?$

a message from 98801127.
Tuesday, April 19


handphone in pic is actual size! my hp's kinda big eh

i received this sms, which reads "HI! CAN B UR FREN". i don't know about you when you recieve unsolicted messages but usually i ignore them even though i'm quite happy because i hardly receive any smses. my classmate and i decided to reply out of curiosity, and wanted to 'play' him intially. let's call the person who sent this sms "bloodywanker".

Cha: i be fren
bloodywanker: whose tis?
bloodywanker: who lah!
bloodywanker: eh who lah! Tel me
*bloodywanker calls, we don't pick up*
bloodywanker: Eh! Tel me lah?Who is tis plz
Cha: dun wan lar i shy
bloodywanker: Than tel me who is tis dont b shy lah!
Cha: peter chen
bloodywanker: r u a gurl or a boy
Cha: boy
bloodywanker: k bye dont sms me anymore

later, using a different number,

Kok: i be your fren too
bloodywanker: who is tis?
bloodywanker: eh!who is tis lar tell me plz
bloodywanker: Wat is ur name r u a gurl or boy
Kok: dino chen
bloodywanker: r u a gurl or a boy
Kok: i'm a girl
bloodywanker: hi wan 2 meet up?

you dont send out smses asking people to be 'ur fren' and then insisting on knowing the gender of the respondents, and saying bye once its a guy. i wish i could defend this guy by saying 'i'm a guy myself i don't really need more pals soccer kakis etc' but the way the messages are phrased are too damning. i'll go ahead and blast this guy just because i'm not very happy these few days, so if you don't like rants you can skip everything below :]

--- rant which i typed in caps intially but then converted everything to lowercase cos i had problems reading through it myself ---

@!&$#@&! bloody wanker you bloody full of shit pervert looking for girls to shag huh. bloody hell look at the way your sms is phrased 'are you a gurl or boy' you asked gurl first and was so insistent on knowing our gender the moment we answer 'boy' you lose your interest

bloody interested in girls are you pervert?
you just want to rape them tie them up suck them or do whatever creepy thing with your sadistic misogynist fantasies. and i never knew peterrrrrr chen was androgynous till some sick wanker like you cant figure out if its a guy or girls name

youre probably one of those skinny like me beady eyed chao ah bengs with a small wrinkly dick who think they can get into a girls heart and panties by wearing pink to show how sensitive you are with your bleached slimy hair whatever and treating them nice for a few days to get them to be your girlfriend and dumping them once you've fucked them! asshole

must be my suay day to kena smses from a sick wanker. see lar now i'll probably get a 'C' for today's class, which is probably deserved seeing how dumb I am. what was I expecting.

my craft.
Sunday, April 17

as much as i enjoy the pieces of boyhood i still have,
there will come a day when i will have to shred them all.
that moment could be tomorrow, or after i get out of the army,
when i turn 40, maybe when i'm lying on my deathbed, immobile and fading,
that, is the day you become a man.

manhood is not defined by whether you can be self-sufficient,
it is not defined by whether you can think much desired 'mature' thoughts (sidenote),
it is not defined by whether you have had sex,
or whether your member is bigger and longer than others.
it is not defined by a moment in life like marriage,
it is defined by you yourself.
yes, you yourself, decide what it takes to and when you become a man.
for me, it is the day i learn my craft.

i am still a boy though,
i am still trying to find my feet in this world.
i am still heavily dependent financially on my parents,
and for that i am grateful to them.
i have been ridiculed since young, partly for a rude-sounding name,
i have been labelled crazy, been beaten up,
i have not seen the world, i know nothing,
but i am trying to know something,
i am trying to learn a craft.

there will be no million dollar lady who will readily be my wife,
i have to look for the girl with whom i am to spend the rest of my life.
i hope i am not from hell, because i am not gay,
i hope i can find one girl, who will be my fair lady, one day.
i have to provide for my lady and myself, and junior myselfs hopefully,
but i am still a boy, i reiterate.
learning my craft.

boobs.
Wednesday, April 13

once upon a time, my friend wore a classy low cut top when i was out with her.
i looked at her and try as i might, i couldn't stop talking to her boobs.
i did it one too many times and she chastised me for my misdemeanour.
that was the first time i got caught, or for any girl to point it out.
guys of all ages, internationally, are blinded by brilliant boobs.
those magical orbs.
lovely weapons.

but once guys manage to get boobs out of their eyes, girls are bloody high maintainence.
then again, girls think guys are crossovers between bufoons and slobs.

23/40!
Sunday, April 10

you know what?

i found my Biology Ten Years Series just now,
and i picked it up and did one of the MCQ papers.
i think it was on respiration or transgenic aldehyde dehydrogenase mouse enzymes.

i got 23/40. i still passed! yay!

so here's a shoutout to that biology teacher.
and the fella who made me choose wat_lar for my hotmail.
mr lau beng hwee! woooooooooooooooo!
i got scores like that back then for your tests
and i'm still getting scores like that today! after 3 years! hooray!
*cue stupid secondary school 'give me 1 clap 2 clap 11 clap 99 clap' cheer here*



here's a picture of him.



and here's a diagram on how enzymes work. i think.
i like the orange color but i don't like the Arial/Helvetica font.
could have used the more dynamic looking Trebuchet.
anyway, i think this is a transgenic aldehyde dehydrogenase mouse enzyme!

cheryl tay.
Sunday, April 3

so Cheryl Tay is crowned Miss Singapore 05.
not a bad pick. and she does look a bit like Fann Wong.
and i discover that my taste in girls isnt all that bad as i thought
because all 4 of my picks won something
let's see how Cheryl fares in Bangkok.

i thought Lee Cheng Ling (Ling Lee) or Rebecca Lim could have bagged it though
because they looked good.
and i'm not saying this because some friends know them
but I guess they were kinda nervous when it came to the questions.

if you thought i was mean with my (shallow) comments in the previous post
you should look at some forums and The New Paper
makes you wonder why these girls want to take part in the competition.