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arhhh arrrhhyyy warrhhhhhhhhh!!!
Sunday, May 29
I have never had people requesting for me to sing. It's embarrassing. It's kinda embarrassing too when people keep playing my terrible rendition of 'I Can Sing A Rainbow' in class and even for the lecturer to hear. Who labelled it 'sexy'. But never mind! I will make a fool out of myself again today by attempting to sing Coldplay's Yellow!
download
Speaking of Coldplay, my bloodyfrigginfruityfantasticfavourite band has a new album called 'X and Y' coming out on June 6. I wonder if one of the songs will contain something like 3x3 - 6y2 + 4x - 154 = 0 or Chris Martin whines about plotting graphs. Anyway, LIKE FINALLY! SAY YAAAYYYY!!!! But I have no money. Yammie you go buy the album when it's out and lend me rip leh. I'm not encouraging illegal downloads what! I believe people call this 'sharing'.
I don't know why I like them. The first song I heard from them was 'Clocks' and my first thought was that it should be played at a funeral. Chris Martin sounds like 'arhhh arrrhhyyy warrhhhhhhhhh' most of the time too, but I somehow fell in love with their music listening to them on lonely nights. Similar bands like Keane, Travis, Radiohead make nice music too, but they don't do it for me somehow.
If you asked me to name my top 10 favourite songs most of them would be from Coldplay, and a couple from one stupid botak guy named Moby or some English punk named Robbie, so I might as well name my top 5 favourite Coldplay songs to end this entry. To try and convert more people into Coldplay fans so that if one fine day they decide to pop by Singapore for a concert I can find somebody to go with and listen to Chris Martin go 'arhhh arrrhhyyy warrhhhhhhhhh', I will be very happy to send anybody who happens to want any of the 5 songs below over MSN! Or you can give me your Gmail address and i'll dump it in there. God bless the fella at Google who thought of Gmail. I have 50 Gmail invites so tell me if you want Gmail too anyway.
my top 5 favourite Coldplay songs
- the scientist
- gravity
- everything's not lost
- only superstition
- don't panic
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I just found out that the Chinese 'O' Level exams are today and all I have to say to those sitting for it is 'arhhh arrrhhyyy warrhhhhhhhhh!!!'
no, i'm not going to sing 'Yellow' yet Calvin. next post!
Wednesday, May 25
I am pleased to tell everybody that I have spent the last few days shouting angrily at Macromedia Flash, cursing at Macromedia Flash, and making something small. If you notice, on the right I have this sound player which I have added piano chords to. You have to click the line that says 'click here for piano' before playing and after that you can use the numbers 1-8 on your keyboard to play simple piano tunes, here and now!
here are some tunes and the only ones I can play actually
kueh pisang (sorry)
3 2 1,
3 2 1,
1 1 1 1,
2 2 2 2,
3 2 1
i'm a little teapot
1 2 3 4 5 8 6 8 5
4 4 5 3 3 2 2 3 1
joy to the world
8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
5 6 6 7 7 8
8 8 7 6 5 5 4 3
8 8 7 6 5 5 4 3
3 3 3 3 4 5
4 3 2 2 2 2 3 4
3 2 1
8 6 5 4 3 2 1
try them! or try your own tunes! i know some of you are good on the piano
anyway, liverpool are up against AC Milan in 10 mins as I type this. They MUST win 1-0 or draw 1-1! I BET $10 ON THEM!!!!! GREAT SINGAPORE SALE COMING! I WANT TO BUY NEW STUFF!!! PLS 1-0 or 1-1 PLS 1-0 OR 1-1 PLS 1-0 OR 1-1
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it's half time now and liverpool are losing 3-0.
I'LL NEVER BET ON LIVERPOOL AGAIN!!! YOU STUPID WASTE MY MONEY #$!!#$@!#?!
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AMAZING. THIS IS WHY GUYS WATCH FOOTBALL. ITS MOMENTS LIKE THIS. Liverpool somehow managed to score THREE goals in 6 minutes for an amazing comeback and after extra time it was 3-3. They went on to win the penalty shootout and are winners of the Champions League. AMAZING. STUPENDOUS. ENTHRALLING. WONDERFUL. GEUIFJKFSKJAS!!!!!
I'LL CONTINUE TO BET ON LIVERPOOL!!! ALTHOUGH THEY STILL STUPID WASTE MY MONEY!!!!
I can sing a rainbow. And my rainbow will turn out all blue and black because of my bad singing.
Friday, May 20
Today I have decided to be a nice guy and make lots of people happy and stop complaining about cockroaches flying around my room. Australia's tourism board got Delta Goodrem to sing the nursery song 'I Can Sing A Rainbow' and used it as a jingle for an advertisement campaign and voila! Everybody loves it! Everybody sings it when they're showering! Everybody sings along when it plays before Star Wars III starts! Seeing how popular that song is, I will provide you with a link to the video and a .mp3 file of the song! Say yayyyyyy!
Talk like Yoda here, I will.
The full length advertisement, this is.
You can only see the full length one in cinemas here in Singapore, I think.
They play it in cinemas before Star Wars so kids won't get scared by Darth Vader and join the dark side, I think.
(right-clicking here and choosing 'save target as', download by)
Delta Goodrem singing, this is. Encoded from the video, it is.
(download)
Okay I'll stop talking like Yoda.
This is me with a stupid fake accent.
(please don't download)
Please don't download too much though because I put it up on the school server and they'll make noise if they discover I'm distributing my horrible music. You can download the Delta Goodrem one all you want though because I don't think its been commercialised yet. Actually I don't care if I get into trouble with the school. Let's download more music!
I'd love to go Australia, Sydney especially (or Monash/Curtin Uni!), but I'd have no money to do anything after I fly there. I want to go Bangkok too but I'd have no money to shop or do anything too after spending on the airfare and hotel stay. I should go get a job whacking cockroaches or charge people money for downloading this song. the iKok store!
YOU STUPID
Thursday, May 19
YAMAHAYAMASHITAH YOU STUPID COCKROACH ANYHOW CRAWL INTO MY ROOM STILL DARE TO FLY AROUND SOMEMORE FLY WHAT FLY VERY FUN IS IT AND SCARE ME SOMEMORE I KNOW MY NAME SOUNDS LIKE YOURS AND I LOOK LIKE YOU BUT YOU STUPID MY NAME IS NG KOK KAI NOT NG COCK KAI GOOD THING I WHACKED YOU WITH THE BROOM YOU CHAO AH BENG COCKROACH SO TOUGH MUST WHACK SO MANY TIMES THEN YOU STOP MOVING GO TO HELL YOU STUPID COCKROACH I HOPE STUPID ANTS FEAST ON YOU SCHADENFREUDE!#?!#%&%#!
last night.
Saturday, May 14
last night i went to a club, and i woke up in the morning with bite marks all over my arm after a girl licked and bit my arm the whole night.
there are some problems though. the name of the club is Jurong Country Club, and the girl who bit and licked my arm the whole night is kinda small, white and brown, has fur and big ears, and was probably biting and licking me because she wanted a carrot or oreo or something.
my point is that you should go clubbing! look at the things you can do while clubbing: bowling, swimming, play golf, play tennis, have a good time! you can't meet cute guys and girls at clubs or dance the night away at clubs but you can play bowling at clubs! they don't have deejays at clubs or spin thumping house music from Paul van Dyk but sometimes you can hear some Class95 FM in the corridors. go clubbing today!
if you didn't understand the whole point of this entry then never mind. anyway, if you counted sheep, thank you and i've given my answer in the comments. i will also declare here that on the 11th day of every month i will put up a new picture full of lovely sheep for you to count! say yay! :]
today we will count more sheep
Wednesday, May 11
how many sheep are there now? count properly!!!
this is even more exciting!!!
today we will count sheep
Tuesday, May 10
credits: only alan will take wonderful pictures like this
how many sheep are there? count properly!!!
this is very exciting!!!
L-shaped bedsheets.
Sunday, May 8
would you look at this. how many times have you seen scenes like this!? angelina jolie is lying in bed with lucky antonio banderas (who looks like a baboon) and the sheets are pulled up to under her armpits, whereas baboon's are only till his stomach waist whatever. i don't care about antonio baboon. i only want to look at angelina jolie (and her breasts)! and i can't because she's a victim of a bloody stupid movie cliche!
how many times have you seen scenes like this again?! in this awful movie Original Sin the sheets do slip a bit down later in this scene and form a more natural look (and show jolie's boobs woo!!) but my point is who keeps the sheet so high up like that in bed! especially when you're with your husband AND are supposedly consumnating your marriage! WHO KEEPS THEIR SHEETS SO HIGH UP!!!!!!! ONLY HOLLYWOOD DIRECTORS SLEEP LIKE THAT WITH A GIRL IN BED!!!! now everybody knows what position the sheets will be in when steven spielberg, clint eastwood(!), martin scorsese(!!) are in bed with a girl! and i've been using so many exclamation marks i'm sure you won't mind if i use a few more. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
to further strengthen my point i am going to demonstrate to you how the sheets should really be like in 5 shots. pretend im a girl, i'm angelina jolie. if that makes you want to throw up then pretend i'm a butch. i'm in bed with a guy who i'm going to represent using a Bugs Bunny soft toy lying on a bolster.
Take 1
here i cover myself fully except for my head and roll in the bed a few times before the camera timer runs out. and look at how the sheets are positioned. they don't cover my left leg and they DO NOT COVER MY CHEST. AND IMAGINARY BREASTS. and the poor guy/rabbit doesnt get any blanket. i must be a really rough girl.
Take 2
here im sitting up in the bed with my boyfriend/husband/customer. and look at the blanket! no way it sticks to my chest or armpits!! it falls to my waist! from here we can deduce that either hollywood actresses have very sticky armpits or......or......erm. i dunno. i have armpits that are not very sticky. i should go put honey or glue there or something.
Take 3
here the cinematic notion that there is sufficient surface area on a queen sized bedsheet to go around for the actor if an actress is selfish and covers herself fully is proven incorrect. notice that the guy does not have enough sheet to cover himself because the actress has used quite a lot of sheet to unnecesarily protect her modesty. hence, a queen sized bedsheet is not big enough for a girl to cover herself fully and cover a guy till his waist too.
Take 4
erm.
Take 5
oh now i remember. these 2 shots prove to people that there is no such thing as L-shaped bedsheets in the world. if the bedsheet is at the armpit level of the actress, it will be at the armpit level or the guy. similarly, if its at the shoulder level of the girl, it'll be at the shoulder level of the guy too!
from these 5 takes, we can conclude once again that there is no such thing as L-shaped bedsheets. what utter rubbish! these are how bedsheets should be like! only in Hollywood can you find L-shaped bedsheets. then again the bedsheets must have 'Made in China' found somewhere on them, so only in Hollywood and China will you find L-shaped bedsheets! what utter rubbish again! id rather a movie be censored then have unrealistic scenes. now goodnight and cover yourself up properly. which includes you kelly cover your toes when you sleep.
by the way, please don't ask me to demonstrate the walk-slowly-while-car-explodes-behind-you movie cliche.
today i discover that there are people who actually use wholivesnearyou.com and that i have funny neighbours
Thursday, May 5
professor squirrel says: HALLO
kok. says: whoa reyou
kok. says: who are you looking for
professor squirrel says: I AM
professor squirrel says: YOU
kok. says: i think you have added the wrong p[erson
professor squirrel says: YOU EVEY MORNING
professor squirrel says: GO army one right
professor squirrel says: i ur neighbour
kok. says: lol wtf
kok. says: sorry
kok. says: minus that someone else typed that
kok. says: who are you?
kok. says: what do you want ffrom me
professor squirrel says: nth
kok. says: im not going to lend you sugar
professor squirrel says: not peper
professor squirrel says: not sugar
professor squirrel says: i knoe
professor squirrel says: coz
professor squirrel says: my sis told me
professor squirrel says: i leve
professor squirrel says: at 9 flour
professor squirrel says: u at
professor squirrel says: 15 flour
kok. says: hello
kok. says: i mean
kok. says: what arey ou doing
kok. says: floor is spely FLOOR
kok. says: not FLOUR
kok. says: i am not going to lend you flour also
kok. says: flour is used to make bread
kok. says: i have no idea where it is kept in the house anyway
kok. says: i am busy now
kok. says: say hello to your sister
kok. says: and what are you doing adding your neighbour
professor squirrel says: huh
professor squirrel says:
professor squirrel says: i can ask something
kok. says: what
professor squirrel says: you morning alway's go army
professor squirrel says: wait at chair there
professor squirrel says:
kok. says: wait at what chair
kok. says: where got
professor squirrel says: at
professor squirrel says: the mailbox there
kok. says: i morning go school
kok. says: i never wait
professor squirrel says: huh
kok. says: i staright away walk to mrt
professor squirrel says: then wrong person
professor squirrel says: i saw
professor squirrel says: bb
professor squirrel says: WHAT CHOOL YOU IN
today when i woke up at 5pm,
express says: hellos
express says: mr kOkkkk
express says: KOK!
express says: DO YOU HEAR PPL SCREAMING YER NAME KOK?
express says: I SHOUT SO LOUD WHY YOU NEVER COME T YOUR KITCHEN WINDOW AND LOOK DOWN!
express says: I SHALL TRY AGAIN
express says: lol
i really should stop staying up all night and sleeping at 9am. what in the world is going on! must be that new tea ive been drinking recently.
what happens to vampires if they drink contaminated blood?
Tuesday, May 3
i discover that i suffer from the blood disorder thalasaemia
its not life threatening in my case, its only minor
so nothing happens, i still live life normally
but if you know youre thalasaemic yourself
we were not really meant to be together :]
FAQ
Q: What shit are you talking about
A: i have discovered recently that i have a blood disorder, and i am shamelessly announcing it for the whole world to know
Q: let us know for what. like i care.
A: so that if you have the disorder too you can stay away from me and vice versa
Q: what happens if both people with the disorder come together?
A: come together here means making a baby and the baby will suffer from serious blood problems when's it born.
Q: ARE YOU GOING TO DIE!?!!? PLEASE SAY YES!!!!
A: no.
Q: then, ARE YOU GOING TO BE POKED BY LOTSA BIG NEEDLES!??!
A: no.
Q: DOES ANYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO YOU THEN?
A: no.
Q: who was the 2nd man on the moon?
A: Buzz Aldrin.
Q: chey, then what the hell, if there's even anything, happens.
A: nothing, i still live life normally.
Q: YOU STUPID PIG SMALL SMALL THING ONLY TALK SO MUCH
A: because it was time for a new post.
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