kokkai

motley crew.
Saturday, August 27

crew

eh, caption this picture for me will you?

8 Days and 12 Years
Monday, August 22

I read this week's 8 Days 1 Day before a new 8 Days comes out, but usually I buy the week's 8 Days 0 Days or 1 Day after it comes out which is really 6 Days before the next issue comes out. So technically the 8 Days I was reading just now in the afternoon while I was at the printer's waiting for my stuff is technically last week's 8 Days which I was reading 1 Day before a new 8 Days comes out. But never mind! It doesn't really make a difference whether I read this week's 8 Days 1 Day before it comes out or 1 Day after it comes out or 2 Days before it comes out or 2 Days after it come out or 3 Days after it comes out or 3 Days before it comes out or 4 Days before it comes out or 4 Days after it comes out or 5 Days before it comes out or 5 Days after it comes out or 6 Days before it comes out or 6 Days after it comes out or 7 Days before it comes out of 7 Days after it comes out. What matters is that I cannot read the magazine 8 Days before it comes out or 8 Days after it comes out! The magazine should be renamed! They should rename it something spiffy like "The magazine which has had Fiona Xie and Jamie Yeo and better looking females than FHM on our cover in bikinis" or something decent like "Baaarrrrrrp". No more silly sounding 8 Days!

Anyway, this week's 8 Days (which I read 1 Day before a new 8 Days comes out) consisted of some interview with the bratty kids from Singapore Brainiest Kid. One question posed to many of them was "What do you think of boys/girls" and their darn responses made smile.

What do you think of girls?
"Sometimes they can be annoying and bossy."
"I come from a boys' school so I don't have much interaction with girls, but I find them to be the most boring people in the world. They don't do anything constructive at all."
"They're troublesome."
"No! (makes a retching sound). They're icky."
"They are generally tolerable."
"Ewww!"
"They're also human. They have everything a boy has, except for a few things." (brilliant answer!)

What do you think of boys?
"Some are very annoying and then try to be funny."
"I think boys are irritating. They like to use vulgar words."
"I think boys are idiots."
"Boys are wonderful." (okay I added this)

They're all 11 or 12-year-olds so when they get their first crush or relationship in a few years they'll probably be saying something different, except for the "A girl has everything a boy has except for a few things" fella. I don't know who won the competition but I'd give the boy the Brainiest Kid award based on that comment.

Back in primary school, I never really thought of girls as "Ewww!". When I was in Primary 6 a girl sat beside me - I think that's the only time I sat only beside a girl in class - and I thought she was arrogant. She was in the EM1 stream and I was in EM2 and she sold me out when I didn't do my homework one day by telling the teacher. She wouldn't lend me her ruler and she would underline almost everything - dates, names, words whatever - while I was messy and happily canceled things out. But all along I didn't think of her as "Ewww!".

Over time we got used to each other though - she was a prefect and I was somewhat of a maverick (what were you expecting?). We got along well and soon the months passed and we were gone, the years went and I saw her on the streets once or twice and recently by some coincidence I saw her working at RP as a receptionist. I didn't go up and say "hi" or "hello" or "baaarrrrrrp" to her, because I didn't know if she would still remember me, but anyway, all along I never thought of her as "Ewww!".

I had a crush on this girl back in primary school too. I thought she was the prettiest girl in the world and a very nice girl. The girl who sat in front of me by herself was called Nity. She was a very nice girl too. She didn't tell the teacher when I didn't hand up my worksheets! And when my partner beside me refused to lend me a ruler or rubber I always asked her and she would lend me! What a nice girl.

You always hear the kids saying things like that about the opposite sex when they're young, but I never! I think I want to say some of these things to some girls NOW! I had nice girls around me when I was 12 so seeing those comments make me laugh.

what did you think of girls/boys when you were 12?

the big red thing.
Thursday, August 18

there's something red on my butt,
its not very big, but it does hurt.
i don't know why its there,
but i think sitting down too long on a rickety chair caused it.

Today We Will Count Sheep Day
Thursday, August 11



It's that time of the month again - no not that one where the girls get angry and act all funny for no reason - it's Today We Will Count Sheep Day!

This month's picture is a page from my train-book. What the fjdhakjfhaaasfduio (pronounced fur-dhark-jurf-haa-surf-dui-o) is a train-book you say? A train-book is a book you read only on terrible train rides in the morning because you don't have anything better to do other than planning the best route to squeeze out of the train when it reaches your station. My current train-book is 'A Wild Sheep Chase' by Haruki Murakami and its kinda interesting if you're into psychological thriller stuff, but if you're not its just some crap written by one of those wacko Japanese guys you see trying to eat their foot on TV everyday.

Right then, how many sheep are there this time?

the Donald.
Tuesday, August 9

Today marks Singapore's 40th birthday, where everybody feels patriotic and relieved that they no longer have to hear the annoying National Day song played over and over again at MRT stations. And what do you write about on National Day, a grand day to be remembered? Why, Donald Trump's hair of course! Don't tell me you didn't know that!



I've always wondered how Donald Trump combs his hair. It looks like a combover, then you have a fringe or something at the front which he sweeps back. and if you study how the hair falls he seems he have some sort of weird curvy hairline. i think he puts curlers on his fringe when he goes to sleep at night! I tried combing his hair in the photo below but I ended up looking like some Chinaman, which is nothing close to what his hair looks like. It's bloody hard to comb - I think Donald Trump's hair is a gravity defying piece of art! The ugliest work of art I've ever seen! People should learn to appreciate his hair!



One day when my hair starts thinning I'm going to do a combover, have a perpetual sneer on my face and see if it brings me millions.

Okay, let's move on to smaller and less important issues now. I think the National day people really should make those choir singers wear different outfits - they've been wearing the same glittering paper outfit and out-of-season bucket caps since I was...well back in secondary school. And they've been singing the same songs! Same order somemore! Always that vaadeemu maameemoo song first! Then the jolly good president arrives late as usual and helps inspect some bloke's uniform for dust and after he sits down, it turns into an army open house when the tanks and helicopters and paratroopers come. Then come the silly floats and mass dances and fireworks and yay everybody goes home happy. I fell asleep watching the parade just now. WE NEED SOMETHING NEW DURING THE PARADE! damnit! make the president parachute from a helicopter! Other than these little things it remains a grand event and happy national day to you from a not very patriotic Singaporean :)

Kok can cook (not really), so can you!
Saturday, August 6

The other day I was thirsty and walked into the kitchen looking for orange juice. But no! Chicken backside! My mum saw me and asked me to cook! I'll probably have to go to Chiang Rai in Thailand for 2 weeks in September and I'll have to cook my own meals there so my mum insisted that I cook, because instant noodles are about the only thing I can cook properly. I didn't cook up a storm but anything Kok can cook, you can cook (better)! And I've just counted and realized that I've used 'cook' 7 times in this paragraph. Say yay!

Here's what I came up with:


Overcooked onion omelette that's 'broken' because I made a mess trying to flip it over.


Stupid fried tofu that kept on spattering oil while cooking. And why did my mum put so much chili when she knows I'm a terrible spice eater!!?


I have no idea what this is. It tasted like chicken and tasted like fish. My mum just threw all these stuff into the wok and asked to to 'flip it here and there'

remember, Kok can cook, so can you! and the moral of this haphazard post is that once you teach a japanese guy how to make instant noodles, you feed stupid guys who can't cook for a lifetime.

goodbye!