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Sunday, August 31
hmm...I'm waiting for my hair to dry right now...I can't sleep with wet hair because if I do I'll wake up looking like a cockatoo. Some people can sleep with their hair wet and wake up with their hair all nice and neat. Well I can't!! If I go to school with a cockatoo hairdo teachers will say "oh another person with gravity defying hair blahblah" because theyre 2 other cockatoos in the class. and I'll turn crazy when my classmates keep on calling me weird nicknames the whoole day...I already have weird nicknames in the class like "adult male bird" and "Mrs Tan"....ahh whatever.
My mom refuses to buy Dove shampoo!! arrrgggghh!! Why doesnt she want to buy Dove shampoo! Now she goes and buy one bottle of Lux shampoo and I have to use it cos the other bottle in the toilet which is some sort of who-knows-what smell is even worse. She says that girl who advertises the shampoo....the Michelle Chia or whatever looks like a vamp but she still goes and buy Lux! ahhhhhhhh...I want my Dove gimme my Dove back. Hmm. I'm called a bird in my class. So birds use bird shampoo. Cocks (as in chicken lah) use Dove. Logical.
Reply to last entry comments:
Calvin: interesting idea!!! yo yo this is the crap crap rap...nananana....*to be continued
Alan: WHAAAAT??? My leg has no hair?? Okay...I might be called a chicken but even chickens have leg hair!! My leg is not a white hairless guy nerd's leg!!! chickens have feathers and leg hair!! okay...i detest armpit hair but not leg hair!!! hmm..I dont really like leg hair too on second thoughts. hmm...okay so I dont really like hair....blah..thats not the point! Girls are supposed to not have leg and armpit hair! Guys too! Shave everything off you pig!!! You were with me on Saturday and I was wearing shorts then...cant you see properly...come lah! Saturday showdown see who has more leg hair! hmmmmph! And you still owe me $10+money from Oliver musical. AHhh double if you lose the leghair challenge to me
On second thoughts it does seem like I have no leg hair. That's not true!! I dont know whats wrong with the camera! but then again now it looks I have a nice smooth leg. Which is nice.
My hair's still wet. Ahh phooey.
[add]
Ah. Xiuhui said chickens have leg hair. I say chickens dont have leg hair. So I, Professor Kok, Head Professor of the University of Madness, will launch a study to conclude whether chickens have leg hair!
If you look at its leg closely, there isn't any hair! So there! Chickens have no leg hair...I don't care if you say what look closer or whatever...I don't care! It's final! Chickens dont have leg hair! I'm the only cock/chicken with leg hair! My...that chicken is fat...
Saturday, August 30
I, Professor Kok, Head Professor of the University of Madness, PhD in Stupidity, Hons. Eccentricity, Bachelor in blahblah have come up with a new law! Eureeka! I'm am going to present that law to you today!
Kok's Crap Law
Example of the usage of the word "crap"
wooohoo...I know this is seen before crap but it is common crap or crapped stuff and common crap crapped stuff is always crappy so it's always nice to show common crappy crapped crap all over again to crap common crapless people up 2x crap times.
crapped = crap2 = FALSE
So the equation crap * crapped = not crap yet as it becomes crapcrapcrap. If we square crapcrapccrap we get rubbish which would ultimately mean its not crap. Unless rubbish=crap which is absolutely crap as it is NOT equal and has a value of 0.145134. Therefore rubbish=0.145134 and hence is NOT equal to crap as crap=crap.
Formulae
--------
Crap = crap
Crapcrap = crap2
Crapcrapcrap = crap3
Rubbish = 0.145134
Therefore, crap NOT= 0.145134
Crap2 - Crap1 = Power Ranger
Kok is Smart = TRUE
Kazuo - Man of peace
What would your Japanese name be? (male)
What would your Japanese name be? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla
Ahh whatever. Its HORRIBLE!
Thursday, August 28
Dr. Seuss' Lost Tongue Twister
See if you can do this. Read each line aloud.
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is thirty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the 3rd word in each line from the top.
Wednesday, August 27
Monday was fine.
Everything was sublime.
From a classmate wearing a red and white cap
which was absolutely hilarious
he looked like he was celebrating National Day
To a smooth day of school
No slackers in the team, no tough work.
It was a good day.
Tuesday wasn't that fine.
A lab was our classroom for half of the day
Supposed to test computer peripherals we were
HP, Epson, Canon, Creative all sorts of brands
Canon failed miserably
Fury, rage all boiled inside me
Scream, shout, holler, yell
Then I found out classmates filmed me being angry
Over a malfunctioning Canon scanner
Today, Wednesday, wasn't that good too
I told myself "I won't be happy today"
How true that was
Early in the morning people get on my nerves
and I seethe in silence for the whole day
Not my normal weirdy (I think I am) self
Not my usual working (I think I am) self
Classmates concerned ask me what's wrong
I feel good that they're concerned
and want the normal me back
but inside I'm telling myself
No, no normal me back today
No, no normal me back for a while
Stupid slackers, hell to slackers
Why should I work like a mule, a martyr, a one man show
and get the same grade as them?
Deep down I know I've learnt stuff and they haven't
but at the end of the day
all that matters is the A, B, C, D.
****ing slackers.
I need to rest for a while.
I need to clear my mind.
I need to see the sun and the moon.
I need to talk to people not from school.
Get away from schoolwork
and get away from lucky slackers
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Thursday is an enigmatic day, full of promise
I think I'll be alright after a good night's sleep
or after chatting with somebody wacky
Sigh.
Saturday, August 23
This person complained to me when I visited him at his workplace just now that I wasn't helping him promote his store. I'm not even a staff there but never mind.
Hey! Come to the Man Utd store at Jurong Point! If you don't this poor monk here will have nothing to do, nothing to sell, and he'll enough free time to pose like this! So come on down now! It doesn't matter if you love or hate Man Utd...who cares! I think he owes he a meal now for this...(((free advertising)))
hmm...when I was with this guy just now he told me that he had suspicions that a JJC couple were performing either fellatio or cunnilingus in the changing room. I don't mean to degrade the college but heh, I don't exactly have a good impression of the junior college. hmm. If you don't know what fellatio and cunnilingus mean then I'll put it in a more crude term.
Oral Sex.
Do junior college students actually do these sort of things?? The couple were in the changing room for like 20+ mins and there were supposedly a lot of erm, sounds. Ahh. I know I'm disgusting. Or was that monk's mind simply being too horny? Gaaaah. I don't care. But they should have gone to somewhere else instead of a changing room to do their business...ahhh enough of disgusting stuff
I think I've just started the illegal spread of a song. Okay...I didn't know the song was in my shared folder of KaZaA so other people can download from me. I don't think it was previously available because I tried searching for the song and bah, couldn't find it so ended up buying the CD. But once I put in in my shared folder this is what happens.
ahhhh! Don Richmond will surely kill me...I've like started the illegal spread of his song...anyway...if you ever download a copy of this song and its in WMA format and there a message that tells you to go buy the CD somewhere then its probably the same one that I have...the one that started it all. Bah.....sorry Don. Man I feel proud...I just started something illegal...woohoo...
Somebody put my pics on his website!! ahhhhh!!!! why did he put the ugly ones!!! okay...if you know where the pictures are then take these disclaimers into account.
I look stupid in those pics. Okay, i always look stupid
those dont really look like me now
I'm not letting anyone else know the URL...someone saw them...and only one someone...thats enough!
ahhhhh!! *vain* That's the last time I send pictures to people when they ask me! No more!
Okay lar 1 final pic...couldn't resist...
I look stupid!! ahhhhH!!!! Now everybody owes me a stupid pic of themselves
Friday, August 22
Comments for Individual: Commendable presentation and demonstration of tact and calmness in spite of the obvious tensions in class and earlier on with your team.
Okay...my teacher says I have tact so I am going to demonstrate and show that to the whole world today! woohoo! arrrghhh
ISSUE OF STATEMENT OF "APOLOGY"
AHHHH!!! I've come under heavy fire for making some "degrading" comments about everybody's favourite little blue alien. After studying the diagram of the little blue thing carefully, I have reached a few conclusions that are bound to make everybody happy. Or almost.
aliens don't wear clothes
are cute and adorable,
huggable
squeezable
and palatable
But I still think he looks a little like a flower.
After careful consideration, I have decided to edit and add in a few words to make it sound nicer.
ahhhh...I have no idea why some people are crazy over this blue creature here...I think he looks like a flower nice little blue thing. ahhh..some people will hack me for saying that. I think he's naked...lalala
Have a nice day. Woohoo. AHHHH idiot someone just said I look like a fisherman when I wear a bucket hat.
Thursday, August 21
Girls! Take a good look at this picture because it's probably one of the rare times you get to look inside a boy's toilet. And if you study close enough those are 8 urinals equipped with sensors which guys use to urinate in. Then got picture for people to see while they urinate! You'll hardly see stuff of these sort around any other place right? Take a good LONG look before they're gone. You'll never ever ever see a closer picture of a boy's toilet after this!
Okay...I set that picture as my desktop wallpaper on my laptop for a while...now it isnt my wallpaper...now its some guy sitting in a shopping trolley flying off a cliff...then my teacher saw the toilet wallpaper and said "I like your wallpaper" and then he added "It's illegal". Ahhhhhh what's illegal about a boy taking a photo of a boy's toilet!?? There's not even any people urinating. This is art! Toilets are works of art! Look at the curves~the shapes~the mirrors! the boooddddyyyy~ ahhhh *shut up*
School has been weird...I'm bouncing marbles and bringing dominoes home and using bananas as thermometers...I won't elaborate on that 'cos I'll problably disgust you with the things I do. Taking photos of toilets, hitting laptops with soccer balls lallala....I think I'm suffering from a slight case of amnesia. I was talking to people and I forgot what I wanted to talk about. Now I'm writing stuff and I just forgot what I wanted to write about. Bah. I'll just write about forgetting what I wanted to write about. Geez...didn't I just write that?? *amnesia*
mm hmmm...stupid Charlie 4D book! okay...in WEDNESDAY's 4D out came 2586 as the 2nd prize. 2586!!! That Charlie 4D book told me to bet on 2568!!!!!! 2568-2586!!! arrghh! okay...I dont play the 4D but I do get some money if I tell my mom to buy a number for me and it comes out eventually. 2nd prize! ahhhhh...no money to shop and buy junk now. Stupid lottery. Stupid Charlie fella. Stupid paper. Stupid ink. Stupid Mickey Mouse. Stupid blahblahblah...
ahhhh...I have no idea why some people are crazy over this blue creature here...I think he looks like a flower!! ahhh..some people will hack me for saying that. I think he's naked...lalala
Tuesday, August 19
Thy am an immortal. Behold my psychic powers!!! May those who dare doubt me percieve and change their mindset!!!!!! Okay...I'm typing rubbish...
ahh....so what I mean is that I think I have a sixth sense. I can predict what colour shirts people are wearing even when I'm not seeing them!! pants are harder because well...they're harder. Not as in rock harder but as in harder to send psychic waves and use my psychic powers to see the colour in my mind. Bah....I'm typing nonsense again...
Behold and be struck in awe with the powers of The Incredible Kok. I hereby present you with 10 cases to prove my powers! Please pay $5.00 membership fee. Sign up and click here. Once you've signed up you can continue reading.
p.s. okay..I apologise if people feel offended with me pasting the chat log here...my psychic powers dont extend to feelings..if youre not happy with me pasting a certain chat's contents tell me and I'll remove it as soon as I get wind of it.
I RESPECT THE RIGHTS OF WHOEVER IM TALKING TO.
CASE 1: Mr P J Toh
Le God. says: lemme test my psychic powers
Pahjiao says: zzzzzz
Le God. says: you are wearing.....................
Le God. says: .................
Le God. says: ............
Le God. says: a blue shirt???
Pahjiao says: zzz
Pahjiao says: u can see ar
Pahjiao says: u hacker
Le God. says: correct ah????
Pahjiao says: ya
BINGO. 1 out of 1.
CASE 2: Guice
Le God. says: *testing psychic powers*
Le God. says: you're...................
Guice says: huauhauhauh LOL
Le God. says: hmmm...tough....
Guice says: shes the youngest thus very spoilt and demanding
Le God. says: you're wearing BLUE!
Le God. says: gahhh
Guice says: lol DARK BLUE
Guice says: okay
Le God. says: see my powers!!!!!
Guice says: lol you only get the top right huh?
Guice says: LOl
Le God. says: bah
Le God. says: okay then i'll try the bottom
Le God. says: hmm.........
Guice says: huehueeup
Guice says: lol
Le God. says: BLACK isnt it??
Guice says: NOT RED
Guice says: nopeee
Le God. says: harrrrrrr
Le God. says: youre not sitting properly!!
Guice says: lol huahuauh I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!
Le God. says: again!!!
Guice says: okay
Guice says: uhauhahuhau
Guice says: excuses
Le God. says: brown!
Guice says: hmm lol
Guice says: okay khaki brown
Guice says: AHH
Guice says: luck!
ah! luck! im not irish ahhaaha...dont care...2/3 correct! 1.66 out of 2.
CASE 3: Mr Clementi
Le God. says: carmen!!!!!
Le God. says: lemme test my psychic powers
Le God. says: you are wearing...............
Le God. says: .................
Le God. says: ................
Le God. says: a white shirt!!!
Le God. says: correct?
Clement says: ???
Clement says: wah..... how u noe?
woohoo...2.66 out of 3!
CASE 4: My fiendth
Le God. says: mm hmmmm
Le God. says: psychic power test
Le God. says: you are wearing a.............
Le God. says: ..............
Le God. says: .................
Le God. says: BLUE shirt!!!
Le God. says: correct?
`weep says: blue
CASE 5: Goad
Le God. says: goad
Le God. says: lemme test my psychic powers on you
Le God. says: you are
Le God. says: wearing
Le God. says: a
Le God. says: ....................................................
Le God. says: BLUE shirt
kenshin says: ....
Le God. says: correct???
kenshin says: how u noe
Le God. says: ahh haaah
kenshin says: yar
4.66 out of 5.
CASE 6: A guy named Leaf
PREDICTED: Green
WEARING: Green
5.66...aiya let's round it off to 6. So 6 out of 6 so far.
CASE 7: Kelly
PREDICTED: Yellow
WEARING: Orange
CLose enough. okay 6.5 out of 7. Let's round it off again. 7 out of 7!!!
CASE 8: Domoto Koni (xiuhui)
PREDICTED: Yellow
WEARING: White, Grey, Bananas (sorry!)
Xiuhui says: OKAY la..
Xiuhui says: im wearing a banana shirt then
1st one wrong. Stupid bananas!
CASE 9: My sidekick, The Incredible Tok
PREDICTED: White
ACTUAL: Orange
okay lar...battery low...that's why I have so many wrong now...my powers can only last for 6.5 people
CASE 10: Yammie
PREDICTED: Blue, White, Yellow
ACTUAL: Purple
gaaaah. Low battery. 7 out of 10.
Behold my powers...see the truth...be amazed at my mind-bending prowess...*bish*
For the psychic service hotline and to hire me please click here. Woohoo...I can predict what you're thinking...you're thinking that that link is a trick...no it isn't....you're too.....too.....predictable. bah...I'm still typing rubbish.
Sunday, August 17
okay...I'm typing this at 3am in the morning when I have an exam a few hours later at 8am. dum di dum.
ahhhh!!! I hate people called Charlie!!! stupid big time charlies!! wasting my money.
okay...my mom buys this 4D book every month...and so I flipped through this little book to see how accurate this Charlie fella is...hmm...so for my horoscope (Capricorn...the others are all evil...dah di dumm) this ugly looking Charlie gave me 4679. And what?? okay..this happened quite sometime ago...he gave me 4679...I told my mother to buy 4679 for me...and wooooo...out came 4670. Lousy big time Charlie...not accurate one!!!!
Then this thing happens sometime like last week again but its like only today I found that scrappy book and started abusing that smallll little picture of this Charlie fella. He gave me some 2568 this time round..and out came 8256! Lousy!! Fail!! Everybody who's named Charlie or some variation of it like Charli Darlie Charliny stay away from me or I'll start throwing things at you. I don't care. I'm going to abuse the Darlie toothpaste in my toilet.
Woohoo...just now I talked with another big time Charlie. Mr Toh Pah Jiao. And then he asks me to send me all the pictures I have of my former classmates to him. So I send and I send and I send and I send. And he asks me to send some more. What am I?? picture database ahhaa? never mind. But I thought he was becoming a pervert...wanting to collect so many pictures...
oh yah. if you have my contact in your MSN list and if you get messaged by me from Mon-Fri with 'me' supposedly saying crappy love stuff like 'I love you' etc then theres a very very very high chance that that isnt me. There are some nutty people in my school who like to use my laptop when I'm away and message people in my contact list and say nonsense like 'I love you blahblahblah'. So if you do recieve such nonsense it isnt me. Unless it really is from me. ahhaa.
How to figure out if you're chatting to me
I dont swear. If I do I swear like th*s.
I use a lot of 'ahhhhh's. Sometimes.
I'll say 'Go to hell and have nightmares' if you tell me you're going to sleep. If its something else like mom calling you then you wont see this
I type 'you' as 'you' instead of 'u' most of the time
Somebody said this picture was scary. Is it??? I thought it was silly!
Friday, August 15
I think I've only seen the barber 3 times this year.
some people say I look like the fella at the bottom right after getting a haircut.
zzzzzzzz. nice book though.
and some say I look like this.
double zzzzzzz
and oh yeah look at this
now I know why girls like to pinch people and smack people and throw rocks and do all sorts of nasty stuff. hmmmmph. ahhahaa...
Tuesday, August 12
The good thing about being in a school that totally uses and depends on computers is that if there's something wrong with the school's network connection everybody doesn't need to do work. And that was what happened today. I think there was some loophole in the school's firewall and some hacker released a virus that affected like 75% of computers in the school...mine included...because I don't care about my laptop....there isn't any proper anti-virus software on it and I didn't even change passwords set by the company. Some of my classmates are hacking my computer. Oh well. They're doing it for fun so I'm not bothered. In fact, they can hack all they want! Computer spoil - no need to do work. Spend whole day yelling at people in IT helpdesk. Yay.
I dunno why I'm considered as one of the more technically sound in using the computer in my class. Okay, I know HTML and some programming but that's about it. I'm an idiot when it comes to security issues and whatever system nonsense. Maybe it's because the majority spend their time playing MP3s and Instant Messaging only. Hah! I'm not a computer idiot! I'm a nerd!
Hamster studies. Lesson One - Prevention of Hamster Escape.
This is one of the hamsters. I don't know which one is it...they both look the same.
This is the other hamster.
Okay...so I'm walking in my room and I hear scratching noises coming from a corner. I go over and see what's that sound and AHHHHHH!!!! it's the hamster! how did it get out?? so that's why it's running on the wheel for like what? 12 hours a day? I thought it wanted to join a hamster marathon or what and is training for it. But no!! it's running on the wheel, exercising so long because it wants to what? Escape from the cage. Naughty hamster.
So I've been studying and wondering what's the hamster's escape route. Okay then, below is a topographical map of the hamster's cage.
ahhh...I know the cage is small but that's the biggest container I could find for them. Heyyy...at least I took the effort to buy them the wheel and the tyre thingy...the main items of their escape route (or so I think). From what I see, they climb the tyre thingy, then stand on their hind legs and climb onto the top of the water bottle. The water bottle is off the ground you see...and its like 5cm from the top. Just a little ssttrreettcchh and they reach the top and voila! escapdo! freedom! joy! but poo everywhere for me.
I don't see any alternative routes...or are they smarter than smart* me??
*I know I'm smart 'cos I watched the what...Brainest kid show and all the questions are so easy...okay its for kids...adults get harder question like what is 1+1...never mind. I'm smart. Yup.
[add]
I still think Justin Timberlake sounds like a girl.
This is much nicer. But I don't know where to get the CD. HMV? zzzzz.
[addadd]
Caught trying to escape!!! huahaahah!! NO more you naughty little rodent!! no more!!
p.s. okay...i know my ugly hand spoils the picture...sorry about that
Sunday, August 10
Okay...I wanted to write a dirty caption for this picture but I think I won't do it because it'll probably disgust some people. Now don't be shocked 'cos I can talk about a wide range of things...that day this 60+ old man was asking me about condoms and how to use them (!)...I don't know what's wrong with him...still a virgin at 60 and your first time at such a YOUNG age huh? I don't have any experience with these stuff and the only time I actually touched these things were at a tuition centre and when one of my classmates (Yiwei) brought them to school. And at a Japanese store...when I picked up 1 packet...I thought they were sweets! I don't understand Japanese and there were like what? Strawberries on the packaging? So I opened the packet and I was thinking why is the sweet so flat...and then I realise they're condoms. Woooot.
Hmm...5 people called me handsome *bish* today...something wrong here...and like 10 people I don't know called my name today. I don't know how many people know me...but it can get really embarrasing when people call you and you don't know what's their name. Ah see...see the effects of being able to talk about a wide range of stuff...from condoms to Powerpuff girls...now so many people know me and I don't know whatstheirname. Maybe I have amnesia.
Now don't be shocked about me talking about Powerpuff girls...Bubbles is cute...Blossom's hair isn't nice...and that time I actually went to buy Powerpuff girls water bottles with a friend (Alan)....well not exactly because I have a crush on Bubbles or what...I went to buy all 3 girls...more because they were the cheapest around. Powerpuff girls stuff are cheap. Yup. But the water wasn't nice. Waste money.
Now I really hate when people sign into MSN or the IRC and immediately set their status to 'Away'...I don't want to name names here but it kinda pisses me off when I see people signing in and immediately setting their status to 'Away' or 'Busy'...then why sign in in the first place?! If you're busy then why bother to chat with people! That status thing is overused and abused by people. So irritating. And a lot of people are complaining/commending about the pictures I use for my MSN. Wheee.....so happy.
Now what else can I talk about...oh yah...football...sorry if you have no interest and don't understand what's after the full stop at the end of this sentence. Football. adad gad gadg. hshjs fhjf svvsdv, cnaodiufh, iouoiu jlkhs snkf 987 lhsbsm nja yaaa nake-d miohbn ball. Asre Combbe jefffffre yahoo whor gaoooooooooooool! 2 4-5 3-90. aftf pana tick whor ik 90-3+17/5/5-1_1. Yeow.
Roughly translated that means:
Man Utd have won the Charity Shield after beating Arsenal 4-3 on penalties. The 2 sides were locked 1-1 at full time and Scholes, Ferdinand, Forlan and Solskjaer converted their penalties. Francis Jeffers was sent off for Arsenal for running too much and kicking other people. Sol Campbell should also have been sent off for thinking the match was a WWF/E match. I expect Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger to say "This trophy is useless" or "I did not zee the incident" or something like that in tomorrow's papers. Sore loser. Yeow.
Yeow. Somebody familiar's surname. Now who's surname is that....ahhh...never mind...I'll wait for that person to call me then I figure out what's his/her/it 's name.
Saturday, August 9
Today is Singapore's whatstheyear National Day. Patriotism runs high. Flags are flying everywhere. Everybody's wearing a cheap red shirt from Giordano to mark the occasion. Who cares. I come from Planet No. 38764 in the universe. My last visitor was The Little Prince. I'm gonna propose another holiday.
Yay yay
I'm a computer idiot
Yay yay
I'm a computer idiot
Someone tell me what this cable is for
where does it go
Someone tell me what this UFO thing is
what does it do
How do I program something using C++
someone tell me
How do I get this Visual Basic script to run
someone tell me
Why can't my router route routes
How, someone tell me how
Why is my Internet connection so unstable
How, someone tell me how
I'm only good in HTML and Microsoft Office
Why that's why I'm able to write this
I'm a computer idiot
Why that's why I'm going yay yay
Because I'm not a nerd.
NERDS SUCK!!! *ANTI-NERD DAY*
I hereby declare 9th August to be International Anti-Nerd Day. Whoopee. I order you, the reader, to bash a nerd if you see one today. If the police catch you then it's not my fault. It's....umm...er...ah! It's Michael Jackson's fault. Happy National Day though if you have patriotism in your blood. =)
Tuesday, August 5
Sometimes I wonder how naughty my rabbit can be. And strong too. I was walking around the house a few days ago and the next thing I know I'm lying sprawled on my backside (pain leh) on the ground, with something furry scampering away into my room. She's 50cm tall standing on her hind legs, weighs 2kg, I'm almost 180cm tall, 60kg (boo) and when she crashes into me I'm the one that falls down. I think I need to exercise.
I was reading my archives just now...so I just sat there in school and pretended to be doing Maths while reading my archives...and people were asking me why I was smiling and laughing while doing Maths. 1+1=2 is very funny. Hahaha. I still like my previous layout though...the colorful cow layout....but never mind. Now what was I talking about...umm...er....cows....oh yeah.....archives....I haven't sorted them out so every month is "undefined NaN" now. Some rubbish from the past below.
suffering from 'blogger's block'. Or blog block. whatever.
<`kOK> eh
<`kOK> gimme something to write about
<`aRChErb0|> eh
<`kOK> wad
<`kOK> oh
<`aRChErb0|> thinking
<`kOK> write about 'eh'
Eh (interjection)
hmm...'eh' as you can see is a 2 letter word. it's made up of the letters 'e' and 'h' and it can have many pronounciations. People in Singapore pronounce it something like "urrgh" or "a". Some African tribe pronounces it as "air-heeg". Tok Rui Xiang pronounces it as "hea". Some people laugh like that. Constipated people pronounce it as "arrgh". Eh eh eh eh eh.
Origins of 'eh' are somewhat unknown. Rumour has it that some country people copied it from hyenas so that they could go 'ehhhhhhhhhh' all day in the fiels to lure hyenas out. Since everybody looked like a hyena in those days with permed hair and whatever everybody called each other 'eh'.
'eh' is usually used as something to call people. Like in "Eh Dick, when's April Fools Day?". Some people consider it rude to call people using 'eh'. Professors at the University of Madness have yet to find out why this is considered rude. A survey around the world revealed what most nameless people prefer being called and 'eh' ranked 3rd after 'boy' and 'oi'. Most commom users of 'eh' include mainly people, people in the army and Sia Zhong Wei.
Another bunch of people who use 'eh' are nursery school kids. Most of the nusery school kids who use this word use it because
a. they don't know a single word and mutter this as communication
b. they forgot how to spell 'he'
c. they thought the letter 'h' follows the letter 'e' in the alphabet..a, b, c, d, e, h, g.....
d. they hear their sister scream "S.H.E.!" and they try act smart by spelling it backwards to show the teacher
Erm (another interjection)
hmm...it's a tough one this...this thing here's a 3 letter word. And you should all know how dangerous 3-letter words can be. Rude words are 4 letters (sh*t, f*ck) but dangerous words are 3 letters. Don't ask me why they're dangerous. Hmmm. Maybe you can ask why they're dangerous. Look at my name. Kok. That's real dangerous isn't it? Makes you wanna erm..er...what does it make you wanna do?
Erm is potentially harmful and it can do a lot of damage. An example of the damage "erm" can do is driving a person mad through waiting. Erm is usually pronounced erm. Not er, eugh, emmy, her, oof, tok, bam or whatever. Just erm. Now practice. Erh-mmm. Erhmmm. Er-mmm. Ermmmmmm. Good. Ah see. I just found out another harm erm does. Potential sore-throat causer.
Erm's usually used when a person is in deep thought. See the text below for an example of 2 professors at the University of Madness in deep thought and using the word 'erm'
<`aRChErb0|> eh
<`kOK> and u and i neber stay home 1
<`aRChErb0|> silly thing u haf done?
<`kOK> cannot write about eh again
<`aRChErb0|> hahaa
<`aRChErb0|> write erm lah
that wasn't very useful in explaining erm but never mind.
Now erm is usually used by...erm...i have no idea. Hmm yah. ALBERT EINSTEIN used and invented the word 'erm'. Remember the formula E=mc2? Originally it was e=rm. Hence Erm. R=c2. I know it isn't scientifically correct but it is kokfically correct. So there. ALBERT EINSTEIN invented 'erm'. Or it can be Newton if you prefer. Or Vic Zhou. Whatever.
Wahlao (some Hokkien phrase)
Hmm..I don't have much resources on this term...mainly because I don't have much resources. And I don't have my terrible sidekick The Grim Weeper to help me out. God knows where he went. Bummer.
Wahlao is supposedly an English interpretation of the Hokkien version, also called Wahlao. The Greek version's also called Wahlao. The only version that is possibly different is the Martian version which sounds something like "whoopee". Ooh. Pretty easy to pronounce too. Just go 'Wah Cow!". Hmm. That sounded like something else.
People have different views on what is possibly Wahlao. Malaysian Rocket Scientist Foo Wan Yueh describes it as a vulgarity and she refuses to use that word. Some old geezer says it's supposed to be a show of surprise and unhappiness. My super-instincts think it's something else. If you break up the word up it becomes 'wah lao'.' Wah' means wah. Or eh or erm. Erm lao. Bah. Wah. Lah. Lah lao. Lao can take on many different meanings. It can be a wrong spelling of some place in outer space called Laos. Or it can mean 'old' (ÀÏ) when you translate it from Chinese. So wah lao can be possibly 'wah old'. The next time you see people using 'wahlao' or 'wahlao eh', what they're trying to say is 'wah you're old' or 'wah you're old eh' if you're nameless.
Hmm...I tried using HansVision to define what 'wah lao' is and they came up with this. ÍÚÀÏ. I think ÍÚ's supposed to mean dig. I dunno. If ÍÚ appears like some picture to you then never mind. Anyway, according to the good people at HansVision, wahlao's supposed to mean 'dig old'. So the next time you see someone or something use 'wahlao', what they're possibly trying to imply are that they're an undertaker. Or the guys at the company dig girls that are a century old. Accck.
Wahlao = you're old
Wahlao eh = you're old, eh (if your name is eh)
Wahlao Dick = you're old, Dick
No thanks to The Grim Weeper
With some help from Her Royal Highness Queen Kelly *bows*
Nah (interjection)
Nah is a 3 letter word. And if you have been reading my definitions of key-words-you-should-have-in-your-vocabulary-but-are-not-in-the-Oxford-or-Cambridge-or-some mouldy-University-dictionary, you should know by now that 3 letter words are extremely dangerous. Oh golly. The most dangerous woman on earth must be Mrs Tan Bee Bee. Which explains her action of banishing a mushroom to sit in solitude at the side bench to smell and harm himself with chemicals. And ordering good people like Huang Yiwei to sit outside a Science Lab and play with ants. And making us mad by vandalizing our homework. And blah blah blah blah blah....
Right. Back to the point. Nah is just a longer term for no. No is just the abbreviation for it so that people do not have to waste ink and time by typing in an extra letter. That's all. However, even though it's meaning is rather simple, it's pronounciation - nah. To be brutally honest, most people pronounce it as Narrrr. The correct pronounciation according to Kylie Minogue should be Nnnn-ah. Or N-aaaahh. I think you should find that song where she goes Nanana like some mad lady. Or you should find that song by Train, drops of Jupiter I think, where they also go Nanana like mad people. There seems to be an infatuation with singers and Nah...maybe they should try 'no' instead. Like
Kylie:"can't get you outta my head, (some garbage), no no no no no no no no no no no no (carry on for an hour)."
Maybe Kylie Minogue should take some Panadol so that she won't get headaches and sing songs that make her sound like she's possesed. Heh. I just found out that if you spell Nah backwards you get Han. And if you jumble the word up you get Ahn. Hmm..isn't there a Korean superstar whose surname is Ahn...maybe I look like him! Ahhhh....
With help from The Grim Weeper
Now what's the name of that song where some guy goes "inside outside outside in" or something like that? I know they're trying to stop people from using KazaA but who cares. I'm not going to pay $18 for a disc that only contains one track that I like....useless money-making geezers working at music companies...aren't you rich enough already!? Come lah police!! Who scared who huh!!? Catch me lah! I download for you to see! Like police also never download lidat...
p.s. If I don't post something new within the next 3 days I'm probably sitting in a police station.
Saturday, August 2
awww man. This Squawkbox is so sinister. They insist I pay for the comments! (see the 'No Comments thing below) Ahhh...never mind...they suck anyway. I'm changing to Haloscan.
Now I'm leaving school tired and exhausted after training. I choose to leave early because I don't want to listen to the pep talk the Sir is giving to the cadets. I'm walking, and walking, and walking away from the school I hold vivid memories in my mind. Suddenly, somebody shouts out my name. I turn around, expecting it to be one of the cadets calling me back for some reason. It's not. Instead it's someone in a brown JC uniform. She's running, sprinting and waving, waving frantically towards me. Thoughts run though my mind...wondering whether anything serious has happened...did someone fall? trip? faint? or *shudders* break a leg? She's nearer to me now. I see the hustled girl is Vivien. I hadn't expected it to be her because she doesnt usually call me unless its for a very good or serious reason. She comes up to me and holds out something cylindrical. It's a flag day tin. She wants me to donate. Gaaaaah. And I thought something serious had happened.
Oh yah...who left the fifth comment in the previous post? I didn't get to see it cos this evil Squawkbox claim that its overused or whatever before i got to see it. They're pathetic. erm...does that person mind repeating what he/she/it left in that comment?
First 4 commenters: Kelly, Weep(x2), Xiuhui. Thank you. :)
The Mystery Fifth Commenter
Using my renowned psychological powers I bet that the identity of the mystery commentator is
20% Guice WRONG
20% Roszaimy
10% C.w.
50% Others
Are my powers working???
[add]
Storytime!! though not as eloquent as the one above. But there's a picture of my shoe. Must see. From the CTSS SJAB website
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