I really should be putting up something new here for people to scroll through without reading, but I don't have anything remotely interesting to write rubbish about, so here's a picture of some guy named Gareth flying through the air in a shopping cart instead! Say yay!
Armpits are disgusting by nature. They stink, they smell, they have ugly hair growing there. Why there?! It's like when God or some mutated chicken created man they had some extra hair to go round after putting some on the head and some on the privates to 'keep them warm' and then they thought:
"Let's see, I don't want to waste these extra hair roots...where should I put them? Should I put some on the hand? No...they can't touch anything then. Should I put them on the elbows? Looks funny. I know! I'll stuff them under the armpits where not many people can see them!"
But this entry is not about the disgusting topic of armpit hair. Armpit hairs are like little monsters with bad breath. This entry is about the types of armpits that you see! Over the years I have noticed people's armpits and that there are many different kinds of armpits! Some are nice, some are ugly and today I will examine the common armpits for everybody to know about. And for this I have professional models from Manhunt modeling their armpits for you! Say yay!
1. No Armpit Lines I think these kind of armpits are young armpits. They don't have too many extra fats there. These are slim and nice armpits! They look neat! They look good! Verygood! And hello girls, LOOK AT HIS ARMPIT!!! NOT HIS BODY OR FACE!!! JON JONSSON'S ARMPIT!!!!!
2. One Armpit Line These type of armpits have ONE single deep armpit line running. This means they probably have a moderate amount of fat there. Which is why the extra fat has resulted in an extra fold, which has resulted in an extra line appearing, which has resulted in another different kind of armpit, which has resulted into the One Armpit Line kind of armpit, which has resulted in a not so nice armpit.
3. Lots Of Armpit Lines These type of armpits have lots of lines. You probably have too much fats at the armpit and need to do more armpit farts. It looks hideous. IT LOOKS LIKE A MONSTER!!! THIS GUY'S ARMPIT LOOKS LIKE A MONSTER!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHH
now seriously, it doesn't really look like a monster. IT LOOKS LIKE A BIG FAT HIDEOUS UGLY MONSTER IS RESIDING AT YOUR ARMPIT!!!! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
4. Ugly Armpit it looks kinda ugly to me. This armpit is worse then the armpit above! It looks like Godzilla!!!! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
5. Rubber Armpit this kind of armpits are hard to identify. Sometimes they have No Armpit Lines, something they have One Armpit Lines, sometimes they have many armpit lines, you can't really tell. You need constant observation of the person's armpits to notice if he or she has a dynamic armpit like this that changes whenever their arm is in a certain position etc. Or they simply look like a combination of some of the other armpits. They can have a right armpit that looks very nice with no lines and a left armpit that looks like a monster. Now this guy should really work out that bit more before joining some gay contest like Manhunt don't you think. Imagine how disappointed the gays are! I bet they're all saying "Oooh, nice perky ass, cute face, great complexion, but oh really, THAT body needs some work on it. And interesting rubber armpits."
6. Old Armpit Your armpit looks worn out. Your armpit lines don't look like lines, they look like wrinkles. Your armpit looks tired! Your armpit looks worn out! Your armpit looks like it should belong on a 60 year old man! This guy looks like a Calvin Klein model though. But then again, Calvin Klein models don't have old armpits!!!
You need a new armpit!
And there we have it. The different types of armpits you will see! I wanted to end this entry by putting up a picture of some guy flying through the air in a shopping cart but I think I'll save that for next time. Instead, we will do a recap! Say yay!
squick 1. a gross mispronounciation of squid 2. a meaningless combination of squid and quick
Hello everybody, today's Kok Word of the Day is brought to you by Teo Wee Ping!
We were playing UNO and poker after he had his dinner at Mos Burger and being the oxymoron that he is he couldn't pronounce his words properly. Being the half-deaf old man that I am I couldn't hear what he was saying clearly too.
wee: "what's that thing ah...arh...squick!!!" kok: "wha....what? what squee? what's a squee?" wee: "no...squick!" kok: "what squee?!" wee: "NO. SQUICK!" kok: "WHAT SQUICK? SQUID AH?" wee: "YAR! SQUICK!" kok: "then say squid lar!! what sqee." wee: "I said squid what!" kok: "no you said sqee and squick!" wee: "i didn't!" kok: "you did!" ... wee: "you have hearing problems and need to dig your ears." kok: "if keng yang was here he would have said you said 'squick' too." wee: "that's because he's always against me!"
And there we have it! The Kok Word of the Day! Use it today! e.g. You blur squick! You're as blur as a squick! Use it today! Again!
We here (actually I but nevermind), at The Kok Theory, recognise that there is a huge shortage of experienced and reliable sheep counters who can count sheep properly. Shepherds, insomniacs and people called Bo worldwide are distressed because they have problems keeping track of their sheep and urgently require the expertise of well-trained sheep counters. Here are some quotes from them.
"Arr, aye don't know how marny damned sheeeep aye harv! Help!" - some shepherd "I won't be able to sleep if I miscounted some sheep jumping over fences!" - I.N. Somniac "The people in Baa Baa Black Sheep won't have any wool if our logistics department miscounts!" - Mother Goose "WHERE IS OUR SHEEP!? MR GOH, WHERE IS OUR SHEEP!?!" - Chee Sheep Juan "I'm scared to lose one of my dear cuddly sheep!" - Little Bo Peep "Rock on!" - Bo Bice
Hence, to encourage more people to take up the art of sheep counting, The Kok Theory is proud to declare once again because probably nobody remembered the first time round that every 12th day of the month wiill be Today We Will Count Sheep Day! This time round I'm late by one day though so today should technically be Today We Will Count Sheep One Day Late Day! But who cares! Say yay!
now count and leave your answer in the comments :]
I know a lot of my friends say Coldplay is garbage, but i'm going to say this anyway. Coldplay's new album X&Y is out. I've got it. Have you?
Okay now that I've said that, I've got another issue with Coldplay. Their new album has a bonus track, which is supposedly bloody damn good as some people on the net say, BUT OF ALL THE GODDAMN PEOPLE IN THE WORLD THEY GIVE IT TO THE JAPANESE. THE JAPANESE!!?? they cant even SPICK ENGRISH!!!!!!!!! much more listen to some British rock band like Coldplay!!!! what did the Japanese do to get that extra song nobody there will appreciate!? swear they'll never throw A-bombs again? swear their prime minister will cut his hair? swear they'll fall for more gimmick marketing stuff from the Europeans? swear they'll do more stupid stuff so the rest of the world can laugh at them? ALL THEY BLOODY DO IS INVENT WEIRD STUFF!!!!! POKEMON, DIGIMON, DORAEMON, WHATEVERMON, HENTAI, MISO SOUP THE JAPANESE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!!!!!!!!!! ONLY THEIR AV STARS HAVE SEX!!!!!! THEY'RE ALL CRAZY!!!!!! YAMASHITA!!!!! KANEBO!!!
However, if you're Japanese and happen to listen to Coldplay and happen to have bought the new album and happen to speak good English and happen to have an extra song called 'How You See The World' then I will take back all that I've said above and say the Japanese are not crazy and have lots of sex, in exchange for that particular song. Thank you and sorry.
Ladies, gentlemen, aliens and readers of this humble blog, I present to you The Kok Theory, not really carefully thought out after days and months and years of thinking and observing.
The Kok Theory is as follows:
"boys are better at MCQs, girls are better at structured questions."
We'll look at the first part. Boys are better at MCQs. Recall back to secondary school days, who always topped the class in MCQ papers? A guy! Always a guy! Guy Guy GUY!!! Never a girl! A current female classmate at school has told me that she doesn't like doing MCQs. Why? Simply because girls can't make a decision.
Let's use a maths test as an example. A girl and guy are faced with this question.
2 + 2 = ?
3 4 5 6
What is typically running through a girl's mind is this.
'Okay...6 is out' 'Hmm...I think the answer is 4' 'But wait! 3 seems close!' '5 could be correct too! Very close too!' 'Which one?!' 'I'll put down 4 first' 'No! 3 seems more correct!'
And after much deliberation, the girl will probably end up picking some weird answer like 5 or 6 when she had the correct answer at first.
A guy will think like that.
'dunno. tikam.' 'eeeeny meeeny miny MO! okay 4 it is then.'
A guy does not really have 'study' in his dictionary. He has 'sit down and stare at paper and think about football' but no 'study'. So when the test comes he either picks randomly or chooses anything that looks remotely like an answer. He doesn't deliberate too much and is very happy to have just answered the question, whether or not the answer was correct or wrong.
GIRLS 0 GUYS 1
Let's apply this concept of girls being weaker at MCQs to shopping now.
Girl walks into store. Girl sees something she likes. Girl has these options
buy! don't buy! got sale! 50% off! no sale! should i wait for sale? buy more can get some card! Got 5 colors! get all 5?! dunno! ask my good friend Mary for advice! ASK A GUY! Ask him and then scold him anyway whether it helps or not! go toilet first then come back think
Guy walks into store. Guy sees something he likes. Guy has these options
Buy? TRUE FALSE
Here probability comes in and n(Girls)= 10 while n(Boys)= 2 where probability of success (p) must be equal to 1 and is not biased or does not take in any other factor or variable; and is non-cumulative too. Hence using the BINOMDIST function in Microsoft Excel where we enter the values as =BINOMDIST(1,1,1/10,FALSE) the probability of girls picking a correct answer is 0.1. In the case of guys, n=2 where the function will be entered as =BINOMDIST(1,1,1/2,FALSE) and the result as such is 0.5.
Therefore, if you couldn't understand the whole chunk of rubbish text I have written above, it simply means girls have a 10% success of picking the correct answer when dealing with MCQ questions while guys have a 50% chance of picking the correct answer.
GIRLS 0 GUYS 2
I know all the girls reading this now are feeling indignant and want to scold me as usual. I know all of them are thinking
'What utter RUBBISH!' 'no. WHAT NONSENSE!' 'no. what an idiot!' 'no! why am i reading such trash!' 'NO! this is completely untrue!'
the guys probably didn't read any single word of my entry and just scrolled through to see if there were words like boob, breast, nipple, butt, ass, legs, masturbation, goal, clitoris, counterstrike, sex, oral, arsenal, gangbangs, fingering, foreplay, orgasm. Or some picture of a girl in a bikini. I will put a picture of Anna Kournikova's ass here to distract all of them.
Guys are probably thinking now
'WHOA!' 'nice ass!' 'kournikova has a wedgie!' 'BUT DAMN WHAT AN UGLY TATTOO!!!!' 'what was Kok writing about eh why got bikini girl one.' 'nevermind! i'll just continue scrolling to see if he put up any other pictures of girls in bikinis!'
so guys! continue scrolling! got more pictures of bikini girls down there!!! while I type out and explain the 2nd part of The Kok Theory to appease the girls.
right then, the 2nd part of The Kok Theory clearly states that 'girls are better at structured questions'. Which is true really. Ask a guy where to eat and he will reply 'dunno'. Ask a girl and she will reply 'let's go here and here, or let's try there, the meals are cheap and good and i want to try out that new dish...'. Let's apply this to something like 2 + 2.
Girls will answer something like:
Why is 2 + 2 = 4? (10 marks)
Guys will answer something like:
Why is 2 + 2 = 4? (10 marks)
It's true! One of my classmates actually submitted an answer like this during our accounting test! i'll show you
click for bigger image
GIRLS 10 GUYS 2
In conclusion, girls are better at arguing. Girls demand explanations for lots of things. Everything must know why. Girls are more meticulous and careful when doing things. Girls are more serious when doing work. Which is why girls tend to score better at structured questions. This can also be their downfall. When it comes to MCQs, there's no place for arguing. It's this or nothing. Guys usually are more decisive but don't put a lot of thought into their decisions.
Thank you for reading my rubbish explanations, take a look at my flawed theory again, and I hope you'll understand it and see how it can be applied to certain aspects of life.
And now as promised, for the guys who just scrolled through this entry, another picture of Anna Kournikova in a bikini!
Guys are easily distracted by words such as boob, breast, nipple, butt, masturbation, goal, clitoris, counterstrike, sex, oral, arsenal, gangbangs, fingering, foreplay, orgasm
Guys are however not easily distracted by words such as menstruation, periods, pads, tampons, PMS, sale, 20% off.
Imagine my surprise when I watched Nip/Tuck yesterday and it contained scenes of a lady masturbating and a girl caressing her breasts, thighs and nipples; and open discussion of sexual subjects like stimulating a clitoris, orgasms, gangbangs and oral sex techniques like The Alphabet! I was typing out an essay on liberalizing Singapore's health sector before that but when Nip/Tuck came on and mentioned the word clitoris, I got distracted and WHO CARES ABOUT STUPID HOSPITALS AND POLYCLINICS! SINGAPORE SHOULD AIR MORE TV SHOWS LIKE THIS!
However my classmate Shallum has made me kena some virus so I won't be watching lots of TV the next few days and which is why this post is relatively short so all of you be nice and stop asking questions and flooding my mailbox
p.s. i know Sex and the City is pretty liberal itself but im a guy i dont watch Sex and the City although im still suitably distracted by the word 'Sex'
