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Public Service Message on Illicit Sexual Activities in Cinemas
Tuesday, July 31
I think one of the great mysteries of life is why some couples choose to do illicit sexual activities while watching the most harmless and un-arousing of shows. It's bad enough that they're not being discreet enough, but its even worse when they're doing it while some Harry Potter movie is being screened.
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Case in point 1: I watched Order of the Phoenix alone in the afternoon today at Jurong Point, and about halfway through the movie I hear a soft female "uh, uh, uh, uh" coming from the corner. I aim a look at the corner, but I can't see anything, because damn Potter is in Snape's dark chamber doing some stuff. Never knew people got off to seeing Professor Snape giving Legilimency classes. The sounds seem to subside anyway.
Not too long later, the unmistakable "uh uh uhs" return again, this time disturbingly louder and coming thicker and faster. I look to the corner again (well I DO have to check that they're okay in the event of an orgasm) but I still can't make out anything clear - never mind though because some woman right behind me suddenly says "EXCUSE ME!" audibly and they stop their X-rated activities. After that for the rest of the show I hear what appeared to sound like kissing/sucking noises.
The lights come on! I've no idea what the plot was! Numerous people turn and aim a disapproving look at the corner - two teenagers who look around 17 or 18 sit there smiling sheepishly.
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Case in point 2: I think it was the 2nd Potter show, but I clearly remember this girl wearing the SCGS uniform and her boyfriend sitting in the seats beside mine. At first I don't take any notice of them - they're sitting close together, which you assume to be acceptable behaviour since they're supposed to be a couple. Let's name these two people Boy and Girl, to er, differentiate them?
Someway through the show, Boy's hand decides to change coordinates from Girl's shoulder to her arm. Lower, lower, and lower it goes, and then it stops beside her left boob. Fingers move tentatively, not over the boob, but at the side, and the girl doesn't resist - she starts fidgeting. After a while she removes Boy's hand from around her and they continue watching the show.
Boy clearly feels that its his lucky day though and soon enough his hand is on her left thigh, squeezing and caressing ever so gently. Girl has her cardigan spread out across her lap, and Boy's hand inches up her inner thigh ever so slowly, before disappearing under her cardigan, between her thighs, and under her skirt.
Girl is clearly flustered and restless now, and god knows what Boy's hand is doing under her skirt. There are sounds of quickened breaths being sucked in, and small moans emitted, and then suddenly Boy removes hand from under skirt, Girl leans towards Boy and they cuddle for the rest of the show, Boy's hand around Girl and resting on her blue-clothed ass. End of show. All right beside me, under my nose!
My friend convieniently claims "got meh?".
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Case in point 3: This happened during the show Scary Movie. Must have been too scary for them to watch and start thinking about other activities.
It was mid-morning, and there were few people in the cinema. I was alone again this time, but I was some distance away from the scandalous couple this time round. The movie was terrible and as I looked around casually to count the number of people watching the show I noticed this couple, girl lying on guy's lap. Initially I thought nothing of it and carried on watching the show.
Later on, I spot out of the corner of my eye some movement over their area. I look around and I just make out an image of the girl, who has sat up, now with her hand at the guy's crotch area, moving up and down rapidly.
The movie cuts to another scene, and its again too dark to make out what's they're doing. Later on though, I see the clearest sign of sexual activity - the girl bent over the guy's lap, head bobbing up and down. The guy stoically watches the dumb show.
They produce a small torchlight, and shine around their seating area. I've no idea what they intended to do with a torchlight, but my guess is that they were "tidying up" before the show ended. Show ends, and as everybody leaves a cinema usher confronts them. I don't stay to see what happens though, but I do notice that this couple is a slightly older one - around their mid-twenties.
***
My fingers are too tired to try and end this entry properly - hey, I haven't typed out a new entry in months - so, yeah, "I think one of the great mysteries of life is why some couples choose to do illicit sexual activities while watching the most harmless and un-arousing of shows. It's bad enough that they're not being discreet enough, but its even worse when they're doing it while something like Harry Potter is being screened". That, and I am not a voyeur. Thank you.
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