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The Bus Stewardess
Friday, June 27
We landed late one night in Bangkok, and after supper, got onto this coach headed for the mountains in the northern part of Thailand. Accompanying us on this trip was a transsexual with a severe bob. She was dressed in a bright pink suit, heavily made up, and goodness gracious me, was our bus stewardess. You know, like flight stewardesses. Except she was not as pretty, looked rather mannish, and was much more creepy.
Someway through the journey she totters up to me, holding a tray full of plastic cups. "Cola-cola?", she asks brusquely, adam's apple quivering and all. I take a cup and she promptly dumps some cheap bun and a wet towel on me.
One thing I noticed was the fact that she was wearing VERY high heels. Pink ones. She's inhuman. She's wearing these killer heels, holding a tray full of cups filled with "cola-cola", buns, towels, on a bumpy bus ride, in the darkness, and she can keep her balance?
*BUMP* The bus flies over something on the road, we all fly up in our seats, the cola-cola in her tray fly up, and she's still standing. The cola-cola are still upright, not a drop spilled. Marvelous heels. Just marvelous. NASA should get their scientists to take a look at those heels, or even better, just sign her on as a spaceship stewardess to serve cola-cola in space or something.
We stop somewhere to refuel, and the substitute driver, who she chose to sit/sleep beside, complains that he hasn't slept at all - he's too scared.
At the end of the journey, when we get off the bus, half frozen, chattering, asses hurting et al, she skips off the bus in her bright pink suit and catwalks over to the travel agent's dingy office, small handbag hanging off her shoulder.
Marvelous. Just marvelous.
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