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Saturday, October 11
The Adventures Of The Incredible Kok
I know...its cheesy...sorry...
Names of some nice people who comment in my blog used without permission...they fit in nicely gaaah
Chapter 1: Medieval yet Modern Times
There was a tale in the past that went something like this.
Legend has it that there was a knight that went by the name of Sir Kok. He was your normal daily average Sir that fought dragons and rescued princesses and did nothing much. What he was renowned for though, was his unorthodox way of slaying dragons that stood in his path. To be honest, he didn't really slay the dragons because he advocated the SPCD (Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Dragons) and like his friend Hagrid in another legend called Harry Potter, didn't really fear them.
Most of the time really, dragons get irritated and flame Sir and Knights because they're too irritating. Imagine this. A dragon is sleeping REAL peacefully when some Knight that doesn't have common sense (how do you fight wearing metal) comes on his horse/donkey/cow/whatever and starts poking you with a sword. If you're sleeping peacefully and are dreaming of your boyfriend/girlfriend you wouldn't want some tiny metal thing poking you right? Sir Kok knew how irritating this was as he had been disturbed in his sleep before by his pet rabbit poking him with god-knows-what and jumping on him. So with this in mind, he devised a plan of getting past dragons and used it to great effect which I won't elaborate on here because it's kinda X-rated.
Now, most dragons are really nice docile creatures. They are, if you don't go around and poke them with metal things while they're sleeping. Most of them appreciate a good laugh too. However, they can be pretty gullible at times...for example...if someone asks them to take care of someone (like a princess) they readily do it. And they get misunderstood for it. Now someone exploited this.
That someone was Alan Frank. Sinister stepbrother of the Paul Frank monkey. He's the monkey seen acting in the Powerpuff Girls as Mojo Jojo...Alan Frank's his real name. But that's his part time job. His full time job would be to secretly capture damsels and throw them to gullible dragons and plead with them to babysit his erm, princess for a while. Sir Kok knew he had to stop the mastermind of these evil plots.....Alan Frank.
So Sir Kok set about to battle with Alan Frank. He reached for his er, handphone, and dialed the number for his Number One sidekick. Sir Tok. Then he quickly cancelled the call because he just remembered Sir Tok was working in his job as a erm, salesman, that day. That left him with his backup sidekick...ahh...whatshisname...Captain Weep. No, he doesn't spend all his time weeping (sorry)...its his name. Now this was a dangerous combination of wit and intelligence...but both of them were rubbish at reading maps (they're not actually...Sir Kok's 2nd best subject is Geography but for the sake of this legend let's just say it's the worst)...and were liable to get lost. But they trusted Sir Kok's psychological prowess and Captain Weep's complaining (?) would lead them to Alan Frank's cave.
They set about on foot because all the horses were booked by other useless knights. And they walked and they walked and they walked until they reached Mount Batok, where they got chased away by a Japanese superstar called Domoto Koni because they had accidentally walked in to her house and bumped into her cat. Oops. So they continued walking and walking and walking until they reached a forest. Now they knew through their photographic memory that this was the correct forest but they weren't sure how to plod through the forest to get to Alan Frank's cave. They turned right and turned right and turned right and turned right until they realized they were walking around in a square and were lost. Again.
Helpless, they slumped onto the floor, tired and weary. But lo and behold, an elf appeared! The friendly elf introduced herself as Guicevere and pointed them in the right direction (which was left actually) of Alan's cave. They immediately got up and resumed their journey but after 2.4 minutes ended up hailing a taxi to drive them to Alan's cave. Then they realized they should have hailed a taxi from the start and kept this legend shorter so that the typer didn't have to type so much and the reader didn't have to read so long and everybody can save their brain juice for something else more important. Like insulting Kok or whatever.
So they reached Alan's cave in 5.2 mins. They knocked on his door because his doorbell was spoilt. But then again villains don't have doorbells. So Alan opened the door and *censored*. Okay *uncensored* they were shocked at what they saw. What they saw was a normal monkey in t-shirt and 3/4 pants. Okay, nothing shocking about that...lots of monkeys wear t-shirts and 3/4 pants...but this one was wearing erm....a purple t-shirt and green 3/4 pants. Too horrible color combination for the heroes. One slap from Captain Weep who managed to open his eyes a slit and Alan Frank was left reeling, crying and yelled
"You dirtied my purple shirt!"
Erm. Yeah. So that was it. Alan packed his bags, never disturbed princesses again and didn't use dragons as freeloaders. That's why we still have walking dragons like erm, Michael Jackson, these days. And our heroes set off for home with Captain Weep complaining that they wasted money taking a taxi for 5.2 minutes.
And the moral of the story is, "Don't read ridiculous stories with bad endings and stupid morals." If you know what I mean by that. That's all folks. Geez...I sound like an old uncle...Thank you for reading. lalalala.
p.s. Alan I'm not trying to spite you..uhauha...I think you're nice enough to let me play you as the villain. Oh my god it's 3 in the morning.
Word count: 996
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