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Thursday, October 30
I have a headache. I feel trapped. I feel insecure. I feel possessed.
I collapsed mentally today.
The bad-boy side of me, a me that hasn't appeared in a long time, seems to have resurfaced these days. I think I may have schizophrenia. Sorry. I'm so sick and tired of school. And jerks. Sigh.
I've pleaded for something aesthetic these few days to occupy my mind. Something to take my mind away from the unpleasantness of having to face one-dimensional, boorish jerks whose lives revolve around some f______ game. Something that can allow me to unleash whatever ounce of creativity I have left in me. Give me something. Please.
I need to do this. Sleep. And Dream. Something aesthetic.
Right now I dream of a world. A magical world where there aren't people. A world where there are...I don't know. Just a place where the only people are the nice people I know. The majority. No minority. Of brainless jerks. That'd be perfect.
Right now I dream of having a channel to unleash my ideas. I do have lots of ideas in my mind right now, but these jerks are decimating them. And I'm not letting that happen. Please. Go away, jerks. I want to go back to space. Where I came from. And bring all the wonderful people I met in Earth along with me. To live a better life. My eyes are getting wet here. I think I'd better stop. Not.
My future
I know one day, for sure, I'll leave this paper chasing society called Singapore. It's making me schizophrenic. I don't have patriotism in me. I'll never be able to leave for outer space. Or even the sky. Maybe I'll go to Australia. Sydney perhaps. To start afresh or to visit some nice people I know living there. Maybe Amsterdam in Holland. I don't know what lies in future for me.
I'll just live one day at a time and see where it takes me. Sigh. Somebody save me. Sometimes I just need to sit down and enjoy the simple things in life. Like playing with a rabbit. Or the simple joy of buying a tee you like. Or even playing a bad game of soccer. An idea just came to my mind. Maybe I'll use that to take my mind off these matters.
I am unpredictable.
Countdown: 4 days before exorcism of the ghouls toying with my mind.
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