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Tuesday, November 4
The University Of Madness is pleased to announce that it has set up a Linguistics Department to accommodate the official language that is going to be used within the campus and foresee the study of 3 languages. The new language that the smart Professors have developed over the past few months will be called Koknese. This move comes after reviewing the usage of other languages like some professor's 'F' language and some other professor's 'Elvish' language. Koknese is also similar to these languages in that they are all supplements to the English language. Oh whoopee.
Example of 'F' Language
English: Hello Weep you stink
Translated into F: Hel Fel Lo Fo Weep Feep You Fou Stink Fink
Now this language is confusing and hard to pick up and that's why only dimwits (like Prof. TW Ping and Mr Wilson) use it. Contrary to popular belief, F does not stand for the expletive f*ck. It stands for 'Freak' rather. And that sorta explains why Prof TW Ping looks like one. Lalala.
Example of Elvish
Elvish: imma [eye·mer] (pronoun)
Translated into English: i, me, mine, myself, my
I have no idea why one Elvish word can represent so many things. So for example the English phrase "Me, Myself and I" would become "Imma, Imma, Imma" in Elvish. Gee. Only Prof. G.L. Lynn uses it. Or maybe Elvis Presley uses it. There is more than 1 Elvish word.
With this in mind the University Of Madness has developed a language called Koknese which will be much more understandable than the above two languages to use. Currently there are only 3 Koknese words. More will be developed in the near future.
Examples of Koknese
Kok [koc·k] (noun)
supreme being: the equivalent of God. All must bow to him.
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uhahahahaa [oo·ha·ha·ha·haa] (interjection)
1. representing laughter: a word repeated to represent in writing the sound of laughter. Much more effective than "Ha-ha".
2. psychology: used to put people at ease
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bloodypieceofmonkeyspit [blar·dee·piss·of·mun·kee·speet] (noun)
unintelligent person: somebody who is unintelligent or slow to understand (informal insult)
"Alan, you're a bloodypieceofmonkeyspit!"
With that, the University Of Madness (Linguistics Department) has concluded its first study and hereby officially advocates the use of these 3 languages. To register or make enquiries about classes in these languages, please dial 1800-9-128-6041.
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OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
From: Office Of Registrar f/ Office Of Human Resources
This announcement hereby confirms the appointment of Dr. Justin Yew as Director for The University Of Madness' School Of Crap (SOC). We wish him bad luck in his new post. Lalalala.
Signed,
Alan the bloodypieceofmonkeyspit from Office Of Registrar
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