Monday, December 30
still feelin' miserable even though today or yesterday's my birthday
talked to alan k just now...kinda surprised he called...i was expecting a phone call from my cousin more...he's been to my house quite often these days and that also kinda explains why i have'nt been updating this page recently...catched up and it kinda reminded me of school again...he asked me to go back to school. I tell you i'll definitely be back but not often, probably just to help the sjab in some form. alan's lucky he's going back in an official role...i'm probably going back to help do odd jobs as i'm not qualified enough...and it's wholly because (odd jobs, not qualifications!) none of the current sjab members, with the exception of ziyong, can do the "dirrrrrty" work....:)
was complaining to alan about the fact that i did'nt get a colours award...i'm still quite sore about it after like 5 months! okay, some people did deserve to get it but there were some that really deserved the award more than certain people. Like me!!! i do all the dirty work while they do all the easy and so called higher level jobs and get an award. grrrrr.......in reality i'm not really bothered by that, but hey, it's nice to be recognised....
was kinda surprised yesterday to discover kelly's picture on sggirls.com . i don't know how she found out about it but from her diary i could tell she wasn't too pleased about it. i don't know whether this shows she's lucky or unlucky but hey, looking at the bright side, at least someone thinks she's pretty! But on the downside, it's not very nice to have someone with your photos...i don't know but if i had someone taking my photos i would feel very honoured....paparazzi.
back to the topic on school days. i still miss school terribly and i'm gonna have mixed feelings the next time i step back in school. sure the teachers and photocopy lady will still recognise me but that's about all. friends aren't going to be in the school daily and it'll be hard to catch a glimpse of some people i'm very close to. it's gonna be a walk down memory lane and to the future. i'm scared of the future in terms of friendships. i don't know. i'm not very good in dealing with seperation maybe because i think i'm too sentimental.
i do hope that the ctss sjab will allow me to volunteer my services in the new year. i haven't approached them about it and i'm considering making it a surprise. it's partly because i wanna meet up with them and friends and partly because i'm still very attached to the school and the sjab. they've been very good to me even though i haven't been attending their meetings regularly. i'm deeply grateful for their understanding and relaxtion of the rules. i will not forget the time sir wayne indirectly signalled to me that he didn't mind me skipping training, not because he did not want me but rather he knew i hated training and granted me permission indirectly not to come for training. generally, i think they acknowledge me doing the dirty work and me adding spice to their meetings by talking nonsense. maybe it's because i was part of the team that revived the ctss sjab (hey that was HARD work!!!) with him. i don't know. i'm just close to everyone there and those i know in school. hah, take that noel!!
i still miss playing soccer.
gonna look forward to the day i meet up with alan. and mushroom. and vivien. and many more people. and oh, a happy new year to you. this is probably gonna be the last update of this year.
Words of wisdom: Forgive and forget. A new year's coming.
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