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Wednesday, July 7
everything's downhill these days
i dont like school
i dont like people in my class
i dont like the lecturers
i dont like my grades
i dont like what im doing
i dont like what i actually like doing
i dont like people around me
i dont like my predictable life
i dont like anybody, everything, anything.
people suffering from depression around me
its getting to me
ive tried to shrug all of you all off
i have problems myself
i need to see a trichologist
my laptop's dying out on me
im struggling with my identity
im struggling with my passion
im struggling these days
i'm not myself
i'm not enjoying myself.
i can't laugh without feeling there's lead in my mouth
i can't find the enthusiasm, the vibe, the energy
i can't immerse myself in what i like doing
ive tried to turn a deaf ear to you all
ive tried to adopt a nonchalant attitude to these
but still, all your problems, and mine, are getting to me
but still, they keep coming back
WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP AND QUIT WHINING.
i think people around me are imbeciles
but i may be a bigger imbecile myself
i look at multimedia portfolios of people out there
and i want to sit down and sob
i see people around me joking, laughing
but i cant catch their jokes. not one. not funny.
i am jaded, tired, dreary and weary
i seek a new challenge and direction in life.
below i list what i am
i am,
attention seeking,
i like,
visuals,
i detest,
conformists,
im not,
resilient,
find me a new challenge in life.
harm me
with your whines and unhappiness and airs and sarcastic cold jokes
heal me
with the magical teals of laughter only friends can possess.
goodnight.
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