kokkai

This is Scarlett Johansson at the recent Golden Globes, where she got her globes groped by some gay interviewer live on TV, making lots of straight men wish they were gay too in the process. It's old news, but in case you're suddenly keen to know more about her she acted in a nice movie called 'Lost in Translation' which involved Japanese people and pink panties. And if can't be bothered and just want to see a video of that groping here's a short one with Ryan Seacrest and some other irritating girl evaluating the situation:

(from The Superficial)

Anyway, I know of a joke which involves the TV series Lost, Scarlett Johansson and pink whales. But I haven't actually made it up yet so I can't tell it to you and we'll put aside Scarlett for now (awww...) and talk about something else instead.

***

I was stumbling around Chinatown with a friend yesterday looking for a marvelously named Fook Hai Building. Obviously we got lost (what else could happen?) and no we didn't go build a raft or blast hatches in the ground or something - we ended up asking a security guard for directions.

Us: "Excuse me, do you know where Fook Hai Building is?"
Guard: "What? How you spell that? F-u...."
Us: "No no no! F-o-o-k!"
Guard: "F-o-o-k Fook ah..."
Us: "Yar, Fook Hai Building..."

and some other awkward exchanges went on before the guard told us she didn't know and we were on our way. We didn't find the building eventually and ended up taking a bus down to Orchard to catch a (terrible) movie instead.

Anyway, it's probably not the worst (or most marvelous) building name ever because I think there's a 'Fook Hin', 'Fook & Aow' and 'Wah Gay' around too but I wonder what English speaking tourists will be thinking if they ever need to go to these places, or any place with a 'Fook' in it.

There's a bad joke to be made here about buildings with 'Fook' in their names and Scarlett Johansson - and I've actually made this one up already. It goes like this: One day, Scarlett Johansson comes to Singapore and hails a cab to go to Fook & Aow Building. The cabbie ends up driving her to a S&M hotel in Geylang.

I did say it was a bad joke!

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