I'm amazed at Osim. I don't know how they manage to survive and get away with irritatingly naming their products like something from Apple.
Now there's this new TV ad that's not new. Guess where its showing? On TV of course! Don't tell me you didn't get that one. Anyway, its the one where Jacelyn Tay's riding a horse and suddenly this Ix guy magically appears from nowhere. Woah! Persuaded by her fairy godfather that she should be more modern, Jacelyn ends up riding on this new iGallop product. By the way, what kind of name is Ix? Hendrix? Roman Number Nine? Ixacentridopoulous? What? But iDigress. (ha!)
Here's the (boring) ad if you've been stuck in a hatch all your life pushing a button. Or if you come from somewhere where they ride sheep instead, like Norway maybe.
So, does anybody also think that Jacelyn Tay looks bloody pornographic riding on that machine thing??! I mean, she's sitting there and going up and down and looking as pleased as cheese. Or punch. Or a girl sitting on a ugly weird horse thing going up and down looking like she'd rather be eating cheese and punch then sitting on a stupid horse thing.
Behold, here it is again! It's yellow now. It looks like a flattened mango here. So now if Jacelyn were to ride this she would be riding a flattened mango instead of a purple horse thing. Stuff that fuels imaginations and fantasies! Brilliant stuff from Osim! A new softcore sex toy for people out there who fantasise about riding on flattened mangoes! Do you fantasise about such stuff? I certainly do! Okay maybe I shouldn't have said that.
But not all is bad though. Osim claims that this machine is based on Hippotherapy, which means the more you ride the more you'll look and behave like a hippy hippo. After 6 weeks you'll be shaking your hip around the house and breaking things.
To conclude, Osim should have gotten Fiona Xie again instead! Wasted lar stupid company. Then they can name their product more appropriately after her, like I dunno, fGallop or xGallop or something. Or The Mango Riding Machine. And if you rearrange the name Fiona you'll get Niofa, which doesn't mean anything actually, just in case you were, you know, curious.
Anyway, I'm sure more people fantasise about Fiona Xie riding on a flattened mango right?
Just imagine...
Fiona Xie...
maybe wearing a bikini instead. I took it from Abercrombie and Bitch, er sorry, Fitch, if it makes it more appealing to you. And make it 'wearing only EITHER piece' if you want. You choose which piece! It's your fantasy!
...And riding and going up and down on this! Just imagine! Ha!
