|
How Not To Irritate Men During A Football Match
Monday, August 18
A new season of the drama, intrigue, theatrics and excitement that is the English Premier League dawns on the male race yet again. Behold, as Premier League matches are one of the few things on television besides the Victoria's Secret show that can hold so many grown men transfixed for 90 minutes. They have made Saturday nights holy, and no man likes to be interrupted during that holy period.
Here's a couple of things girls can do not to irritate the zombie like guy watching football. There are probably some super detailed lists out there on the Internet on proper female etiquette during football matches, but I think these few will do.
 1. Quiet PleaseWhen a guy is glued to a football match on television, keep quiet! We, useless blocks of wood passing ourselves off as men, will happily (or moodily depending on the result of the match) listen to your day, explain what's going on, decide what to eat for supper, hear your gripes, go shopping with you and generally resume normal service when its half time or after the match. Keep quiet DURING the match!
 2. We Are Straight MenWe don't care if you find Fernando Torres cute, or Ronaldo hot, or David Beckham sexy, or Raul handsome, or... Also, say for example your boyfriend supports Manchester United. Man Utd are playing a match against arch rivals Liverpool. Liverpool has Fernando Torres, who he will grudgingly admit is a good player. What he doesn't need to hear is some noisy girl gushing "TORRES SO CUTE!!!" beside him just after Torres scores against Man Utd.
 3. Temporary Maid"Could you help me grab a drink from the fridge?" We can't miss this free kick. Help us out just this time? You're still our princess, and we'll still carry your shopping bags. And maybe agree to watch those Sex and the City DVDs with you.
 4. We Still Love YouWe might turn into Easter Island statues during a match, but we still love you. And we'd love for you to actually go out and enjoy yourself during what is for you a torturous 90 minutes. Have a night out with the girls! We'll try to remember to pick you up after the match.
|
|
