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Sunday, February 16
i'm seem to be getting disillusioned and disoriented in my life. i don't know why but i am feeling very out of place everywhere i go except when i'm back at my alma mater every saturday. I hate the course, I hate the stuff i'm doing now, i hate my rotting life now. i can't study, i can't do anything, even playing's become boring. the only things on my slightly happier thoughts on my mind now are optimism for the 'o' level results and a few special people whom i think of daily. i'm sick, i'm tired and i'm unhappy. i just wanna rid my mind of all these crap...i wish i was studying in school now...i wish i was young again...the uncertainty of not being in a GOVERNMENT school right now is killing me...i be one of the relieved and happiest people around if i get into a poly cos i'm sick of the dumb course i'm doing now...i just hope my results can allow me to get to a poly(or even jc) which i would go as far as to name 'heaven'.
how i wish i told my mum i wanted to learn french instead of keeping quiet...i hate the dumb diploma in computer studies i'm doing now...it dosen't interest me at all and now i regret not mentioning my interest and having to endure this torture. i just have to make do with this and hope that i can pass this course without trouble...and that doesn't seem easy. i really miss classroom and school life. i just wanna get my 'o' level results due a few weeks from now and SMILE on that day. if i smile...i won't be so moody and pessimistic about the course and most likely it'll go up from there. if i frown...i don't know what to say.....i think i would sit and cry.
its been ages since i could smile and have no worries for a day........................................i just wanna smile..................................
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