|
L-shaped bedsheets.
Sunday, May 8
would you look at this. how many times have you seen scenes like this!? angelina jolie is lying in bed with lucky antonio banderas (who looks like a baboon) and the sheets are pulled up to under her armpits, whereas baboon's are only till his stomach waist whatever. i don't care about antonio baboon. i only want to look at angelina jolie (and her breasts)! and i can't because she's a victim of a bloody stupid movie cliche!
how many times have you seen scenes like this again?! in this awful movie Original Sin the sheets do slip a bit down later in this scene and form a more natural look (and show jolie's boobs woo!!) but my point is who keeps the sheet so high up like that in bed! especially when you're with your husband AND are supposedly consumnating your marriage! WHO KEEPS THEIR SHEETS SO HIGH UP!!!!!!! ONLY HOLLYWOOD DIRECTORS SLEEP LIKE THAT WITH A GIRL IN BED!!!! now everybody knows what position the sheets will be in when steven spielberg, clint eastwood(!), martin scorsese(!!) are in bed with a girl! and i've been using so many exclamation marks i'm sure you won't mind if i use a few more. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
to further strengthen my point i am going to demonstrate to you how the sheets should really be like in 5 shots. pretend im a girl, i'm angelina jolie. if that makes you want to throw up then pretend i'm a butch. i'm in bed with a guy who i'm going to represent using a Bugs Bunny soft toy lying on a bolster.
Take 1
here i cover myself fully except for my head and roll in the bed a few times before the camera timer runs out. and look at how the sheets are positioned. they don't cover my left leg and they DO NOT COVER MY CHEST. AND IMAGINARY BREASTS. and the poor guy/rabbit doesnt get any blanket. i must be a really rough girl.
Take 2
here im sitting up in the bed with my boyfriend/husband/customer. and look at the blanket! no way it sticks to my chest or armpits!! it falls to my waist! from here we can deduce that either hollywood actresses have very sticky armpits or......or......erm. i dunno. i have armpits that are not very sticky. i should go put honey or glue there or something.
Take 3
here the cinematic notion that there is sufficient surface area on a queen sized bedsheet to go around for the actor if an actress is selfish and covers herself fully is proven incorrect. notice that the guy does not have enough sheet to cover himself because the actress has used quite a lot of sheet to unnecesarily protect her modesty. hence, a queen sized bedsheet is not big enough for a girl to cover herself fully and cover a guy till his waist too.
Take 4
erm.
Take 5
oh now i remember. these 2 shots prove to people that there is no such thing as L-shaped bedsheets in the world. if the bedsheet is at the armpit level of the actress, it will be at the armpit level or the guy. similarly, if its at the shoulder level of the girl, it'll be at the shoulder level of the guy too!
from these 5 takes, we can conclude once again that there is no such thing as L-shaped bedsheets. what utter rubbish! these are how bedsheets should be like! only in Hollywood can you find L-shaped bedsheets. then again the bedsheets must have 'Made in China' found somewhere on them, so only in Hollywood and China will you find L-shaped bedsheets! what utter rubbish again! id rather a movie be censored then have unrealistic scenes. now goodnight and cover yourself up properly. which includes you kelly cover your toes when you sleep.
by the way, please don't ask me to demonstrate the walk-slowly-while-car-explodes-behind-you movie cliche.
|
|
|
